Sept. 22, 2021

Why You Should Eat the Cake: Simple Steps to a Healthier Lifestyle

Why You Should Eat the Cake: Simple Steps to a Healthier Lifestyle

Our guest is Kayla Marie, owner of the Hot Yoga Spot and Crossfit for the People.


The path to wellness can't be achieved through just one thing. It can't be done by just working out, and it can't be done by just meditating. Being healthy is about doing many different things for your physique, health, and especially your mind. Today, we are joined by someone who did all those. In this episode of The Fit Mess, Coach Kayla Marie talks about the role of 'confidence' in body development, why yoga is a great place to start holistic wellness, why sticking with it helps do the inner work, and more about what you need to hear to feel good about your body and self.

Aside from yoga, learn where your wellness work needs to start in this episode of The Fit Mess with Kayla Marie!


Movement is basic 

At one point in the talk, Zach remembers an injury he once had. It was a weird injury on his back, and it caused him to be bedridden for four days. Because it was on his back, he felt pain even when doing the most basic things... After recovering from the injury, Zach saw the value of his body. He started appreciating walking down the stairs, playing with his daughter, and doing other everyday activities even more. These things seemed nothing significant to him before. But because, for a time, he experienced how it's like to not be able to do them despite how minor they are, Zach sees the value better in having that ability. For Kayla, moments like that are where movement becomes medicine. When we realize how that fundamental thing may not be so fundamental to some people, especially those permanently disabled, we become more aware of its real powers and purpose in our lives. As a result, we become less likely to take it for granted.

Find out how you can start moving toward a body that you love more with Kayla Marie in this episode of The Fit Mess!


About Kayla Marie:

Kayla is the owner and head coach at CrossFit for the People. Through a passion for movement and enabling others to use fitness as a means to pursue excellence by realizing their potential, Kayla loves helping others to grow past their comfort zones and accomplish things they never thought possible.

Kayla believes CrossFit offers an opportunity to continuously seek out ways to be better; this is the reason she opened CrossFit For The People, a space for people to show up, work hard, and be their best selves.

When she isn't at CFTP, you can find Kayla teaching yoga at The Hot Yoga Spot, walking her two dogs Segway and Scooter, spending time with friends and family, and constantly looking for new ways to experience life from all angles. 

Outline of the Episode:

[01:56] Zach on why yoga is soooo helpful

[04:36] How did Kayla Marie get started in the health and wellness space?

[08:01] Crossfit can also be your yoga!

[12:52] Movement is such a fundamental ability that most people take for granted.

[16:00] Eat real food and be aware of what your body needs and doesn't need.

[19:51] You can do it, and you belong as long as you start now!

[23:43] The issue of confidence can sometimes be weird.

[27:35] Do you have to devote a lot of time to become healthy?

[31:38] Some people have struggles we're not aware of.

[36:06] Eat the cake and be kind to yourself!

Resources:

CrossFit For The People

Hot Yoga Spot

 

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Transcript

Why You Should Eat the Cake: Simple Steps to a Healthier Lifestyle - Transcript

 

[00:00:00] Zach: When you do what you love, like yoga, CrossFit, and lifting heavy things. You want to do it for life inside. Tracker can help. Inside tracker was founded in 2009 by leading scientists and hygiene, genetics and biometrics inside tracker analyzes your body's data to provide you with a clear picture of what's going on inside you and to offer you science backed recommendations for positive diet and lifestyle change.

[00:00:23] And then inside tracker record your progress every day, every step of the way towards reaching your performance goals and living a longer, healthier life. For a limited time, you can get 25% off the entire inside tracker store. Just go to inside tracker.com/fitness. Or visit the link on our website, the fit mass.com.

[00:00:42] Kayla: This is the fit mess conversations with world-class experts in the fields of mental, physical, and emotional health. And this goals are fun. Goals are important once you've been doing it and you're trying to move a needle forward, but everyone deserves to have that relationship and that time with themselves where they can just be now.

[00:01:04] And 

[00:01:05] Jeremy: Jeremy. Hello, and thanks for bringing the fitness podcast, along with you on whatever journey you're taking today, whether you're mowing the lawn or going for a run or running errands, cleaning the house, or maybe just hitting the gym, whatever you're doing, we appreciate being a part of your day.

[00:01:18] Today. We are going to cover a lot of ground for anyone looking to start a better physical fitness routine. And it will begin by talking about why yoga can be such a great place to. And why sticking with it will also help you do the inner work that in many cases can be more important than the outer work.

[00:01:33] And today it's the Zach show. Zach, you have a terrific interview. You're going to share. 

[00:01:37] Zach: Yeah. Today, we're going to talk with Kayla Marie, who is my CrossFit coach at CrossFit for the people and one of my yoga instructors at the hot yoga. Karen Albany, New York, which has been the one great thing that I've been doing over the last six months, because life has been pretty shitty, but CrossFit and yoga has been my savior.

[00:01:56] Jeremy: You've referenced yoga a number of times in the few years that we've been doing the show. What is it about yoga? That's so helpful for you? Why is it 

[00:02:02] Zach: your go-to? Well, you know, the end of the, the Sebastien apart where you get to lay down and that's my favorite part. Yeah, totally. No, I think I've talked about it a few times.

[00:02:13] Meditation mindfulness for me is really difficult. My anxiety just manifests physically for me. So like staying still is really, really, really hard for me. Fingers are moving or something on me is moving all the time. So sitting still and practicing mindfulness and meditation is just super hard, but yoga is.

[00:02:37] To ease the physical issues that I have while still being mindful while still meditating. So it's really, really important for me because I can't meditate without it. So it's not really the physical part of it. It's the mental side. So you 

[00:02:52] Jeremy: combine that with CrossFit, particularly in the last six months, trying to just balance wellbeing in general, but also the stress of everything transitions from job stress and everything else that's going on in.

[00:03:04] How does CrossFit combined with yoga to help you balance that 

[00:03:07] Zach: I'm either on or I'm off? It's kind of weird telling me to go for a walk is the worst thing in the world for me, from an exercise from a health standpoint, because it's not super intense on one side or the other. So yoga for me. Can be slow and the movements are really slow.

[00:03:25] The mind part of it is super intense for me. And then CrossFit on the other end is also super-intense. I don't really like to land anywhere in the middle. I just like to be doing whatever I'm doing in an intense way. 

[00:03:39] Jeremy: You operate in streams. Never, never a nice, easy stroll. It's gotta be pedal to the metal or devastating.

[00:03:47] Zach: The sane of everything in moderation does not compute with me at all. 

[00:03:53] Jeremy: Um, or guiding you through that these last few months has been, as you mentioned, your, your yoga instructor and CrossFit coach. Tell us about the interview. We're about to hear, 

[00:04:02] Zach: yeah. Has a really good interview with Kayla Marie. and we talked about a lot of things, and I know on, on the show we try and focus each episode on one specific thing or one specific topic.

[00:04:13] But this conversation is really great because. Being healthy is about doing many different things, yoga, CrossFit, nutrition. And we cover a lot of those things in the interview. But to start with, I asked her about her background in health and wellness and how it at least partially started with a yoga class that she didn't even like.

[00:04:33] So how did you get into the health and wellness space? What's your backstory 

[00:04:37] Kayla: story is super loaded. So, I don't know if you have some time. I want to say when I was in college, I worked at planet fitness and I was just always super into. The idea of working out, I was always really interested in the idea of being able to change your body for the better.

[00:05:00] And my brother actually worked at planet fitness. My brother is now a coach at the gym that I own, which is interesting. So he worked at. I went to the gym. I was one of those treadmill. Junkies did a lot of cardio, did a couple of lateral dumbbell raises. And I was always just like talking to the trainers there about what they did and how to work certain parts of the body.

[00:05:23] And so that kind of started my interest in like really working out and training. And then from there in terms of yoga, when I was in college, I took my first yoga class when I was studying abroad in Australia and I hated it. I sign up for a yoga class. I always joke that I walked into this room and there was this guy with like really flowy pants on and he had long blonde hair.

[00:05:50] He looked like Fabio and I was just there for a workout. I was like, all right, let's get this show on the road. Stop talking, just like, make me sweat. And I was so bored. I hated it. And then I was training for a half marathon. Um, my cousin invited me to sign up for the Disney princess, half marathon with her.

[00:06:09] And I said, yes, even though I had never run more than like a mile. And then she also invited me to go to hot yoga and hot yoga was really the catalyst for me to like falling in love with yoga and then kind of everything else. And 

[00:06:23] Zach: so I actually can't believe that you didn't like your first yoga class because I've taken classes with you.

[00:06:28] And it is an absolutely excellent experience. So tell me about that transition from not liking your first yoga class to being a yoga teacher. 

[00:06:35] Kayla: Now, I mean that you asked that, cause I guess I've never really thought about like where the transition happens. And I think my first yoga class, I was looking for a workout.

[00:06:45] Like I, in my head, the idea of working on. Was you go, you sweat, you burn a lot of calories. Otherwise, what was the point? Like, why am I going to go to a class and give someone else my time, if I'm not going to sweat and like work out. And that's what I was looking for at that time. And then when I came back to yoga and especially hot yoga during my half marathon training, I was looking for more of a stretch.

[00:07:11] I was looking for more relief from the training that I was doing. And then since then yoga has just evolved for me from, you know, stretching and sweating and. Releasing to now more of like that mental, emotional, spiritual, physical connection of all the things that I, I like to kind of encompass in my classes as I teach.

[00:07:35] Zach: So that's one of the things I really like about you and what you do is you're very holistic in your approach to health and wellness. It's not just yoga, it's not just CrossFit. It's not just mindfulness. You know, was there a point in time where you kind of where it all came together for you where, wow, this is a bigger picture than just these individual pieces 

[00:07:55] Kayla: started coming together for me when I was still teaching yoga and I had started crossing.

[00:08:03] And I was actually very like against CrossFit. I didn't want anything to do with it. I thought that people got hurt doing it. I had had some injuries in the past and I started doing CrossFit, really fell in love with it. And I was. Kind of, uh, how was like, how am I going to tell people that yoga works? If I'm just doing CrossFit and I'm not doing a whole lot of yoga and vice versa.

[00:08:27] And then I realized that like for me, CrossFit is also a form of yoga. And one of the major elements of yoga is talking about how the posture is on the mat or just a very small portion of it, the ASOS and that, that connection to your body. Really needs to happen outside of that space. And that's where it starts.

[00:08:48] Right. So when you first come to yoga, you're just learning about your body. You're just learning about how to be present and how to breathe and how to breathe as you move. And then, you know, if you want to say, as you advance in your practice, it's not about. Necessarily getting more flexible or better at the quote unquote like yoga poses, but it's being better at taking all of that off of your mat.

[00:09:09] So when I realized that CrossFit was my yoga running was my yoga breathing was my yoga and that everything I did in my life. Was about being connected. Then I realized that even take away the titles of yoga and CrossFit, this whole like movement and connection to yourself is everywhere in your life.

[00:09:29] Right. 

[00:09:30] Zach: So I started doing yoga because I wanted to get more flexible. I'm using big air quotes here. And I will say that like, Probably the one thing that transformed my life on the inside the most out of anything I've ever done, just be. And I went there to be flexible and it changed my mindset just completely 180 degree.

[00:09:50] Things that, you know, seven years ago, I would say that's whew, that's impossible. That's bullshit. Now I'm like on the other side of the fence going, wow, this is a connected universe. So talk to me about mindset. How important is that in everything that we do when we're moving 

[00:10:04] Kayla: well, it's everything. It completely transforms the way that you move.

[00:10:09] It completely transformed the way that you think about your movements and your body and, you know, the goal what's been accomplished. And it's funny that you say. You started yoga to become flexible and then it's changed your minds. And one of the things that we talked about in yoga is flexibility is so much more than physical flexibility.

[00:10:28] Like how flexible are you and your thoughts? How flexible are you and your views of the world? How flexible are you with your significant other? Is everything just black and white? Are you just trying to like. Forced everything in your life, you know, from your yoga poses to your mindsets and your views and forcing them on other people, or are you flexible.

[00:10:48] And when you become softened, physically in your hot yoga practice, but mentally just to being open to other things in the world and not just being one way a completely changed your life. 

[00:11:02] Zach: So let's switch gears a little bit and talk about CrossFit and the actual physical working out. I know I went to a class this morning with you, and it was, we'll say unpleasant, but it was good for me, but we were talking the other day and you were mentioning, you know, movement.

[00:11:15] And I immediately went to mobility and being more flexible. And that's not actually what you were talking about. So can you talk about why it's so good for us to just move and why it's important and it's not always about mobility. 

[00:11:28] Kayla: Yeah, movement as medicine for so many reasons. From the mindset of like an object in motion stays in motion in your life.

[00:11:36] Once you stop moving. Your body, your muscles, your joints, your tendons, and ligaments, they stiffen and they tighten up and then you're more prone to injury. And, you know, in the later stages of life, what happens when you get injured? We all know like, it's, it's a quick decline as you get older, if you don't continue to move, but also it brings you into the moment.

[00:11:58] I think cross it is definitely more strenuous in some ways then yoga and it's that challenge. And it's that constantly evolving task at hand or whatever it is that you're working towards or focusing on that pulls you back into the moment. Like some other things just can't do. And it's such a unique experience for everyone because everyone has a different body.

[00:12:23] Everyone has a different, you know, list of injuries. Everyone has different ailments. And so everyone's experience is different. And I just think that. Movement is something that we also just take for granted. A lot of times, you know, we're like, oh, work kids, whatever. And it's like the ability to just like stop your whole day and go to spend some time with yourself.

[00:12:46] And hopefully some other people that you like is the quickest way back to yourself. And back to the moment. Right. 

[00:12:52] Zach: I remember once when I hurt my back, it was a weird injury where like, it would spasm every time I moved. So I was literally in bed for like four days. And I remember that being just the worst, because I couldn't even walk.

[00:13:04] I couldn't, I couldn't move at all. It was terrible. And I remember like when I started moving again, I was like, wow, these simple things, like taking a step, going down the stairs, playing with my daughter. I was so grateful for just those basic movements. 

[00:13:19] Kayla: I heard 'em years ago, I read like the story and it was about this woman that ran marathons and she had.

[00:13:25] Someone in her life who had like an accident or an injury and she was in a wheelchair. And she said that she ran because her friend or sister, whoever couldn't. And so I always try to think of that, like on the days when things hurt or the days when I don't want to, I'm just like, there are people that would give anything to be able to go run a mile.

[00:13:47] And if I'm just going to like, take that for granted, I just feel like that's really selfish of me. 

[00:13:52] Zach: Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes you have to have those thoughts just to get yourself out the door. Yeah. Leaving to go to the gym is the hardest part for me once I'm there. It's okay. It's just that initial part of just getting up and I go to the early class.

[00:14:04] So getting out of bed is always difficult, but even if I'm not going to the gym, that's difficult, 

[00:14:09] Kayla: got a lot more sleep. There's always going to be more things to do that are just going to keep piling on. So it's like, yeah, 

[00:14:16] Zach: I know. But you have to have time for yourself. Right? There's sleep. There's working out.

[00:14:19] There's other people. You know, how important is that to you? Like just making time for yourself and taking that time out to be with yourself and take care of yourself before you're taking care of other. 

[00:14:29] Kayla: It is everything. It's absolutely everything. And, and just like anyone else there, most days I feel guilty, right?

[00:14:38] And I tell people all the time, you have to take time for yourself. People tell me all the time, I have to take time for myself, but any time I'm working out on, like, there's so many other things that I could be doing, like I should, this would make me a better business owner. This would make people more happy.

[00:14:53] This would make the bathrooms cleaner. This would get, you know, that thing done. I just have to remind myself, like, Nope, those things are always going to be there. You enjoy this time. And like really appreciate this time because it's hard. 

[00:15:08] Zach: So his diet and telling people about what to eat, is that ever going to come into play for?

[00:15:12] You 

[00:15:12] Kayla: know, I am not a nutritionist. I'm not a dietician. I do give guidance in the way of more. So I feel like people struggle the most with food. When they think about it as like a reward or punishment or like something that needs to be fixed or something that has like a hard line. And when I talk to people about nutrition, I'm just like, just like baby steps and just like add one thing or just do one thing today.

[00:15:42] And just like talking to people about being patient with themselves and with the process. But I do try to direct people to. Licensed individuals when it comes to like actually telling people what to eat for, for those types of things. 

[00:15:57] Zach: I'm curious, like, what do you eat then? What keeps you going every 

[00:16:00] Kayla: day?

[00:16:00] Well, you can see my refrigerator behind me right now. And if I opened it, you would see on the freezer side, Kodiak cake, flat jacks waffles. Those are my. Token breakfast items, the protein, waffles, and pancakes, because they're quick. I don't think that they're the healthiest thing in the world for me to eat, but with my lifestyle, I need a lot of carbohydrates and protein.

[00:16:22] So that's usually what I have for breakfast. You would also find creamsicles creamsicles are my guilty pleasure. Name something better than a creamsicle on a hot day, all week. And two is one serving. So 

[00:16:37] Zach: that's better. That's even 

[00:16:38] Kayla: better. Yeah. I don't know how they got away with that, but like, you actually have to open two creamsicles in order for it to be one serving.

[00:16:44] So that's like a cheat in life. Um, and then I just tried it. Fruits vegetables. And I'm big on like frozen vegetables, because they're actually in a lot of ways, better for you because they flash freeze them. So they're packed with more nutrients than a lot of times what you would buy on the shelf in the grocery store.

[00:17:03] So I'll do, I'll like prep, some chicken for a couple of days. I'll get like chicken sausages. I do eat red meat, but I try not to eat a whole lot of it. So I'll do like ground beef for tacos or steaks, but I'm not super strict on what I eat. I just try to eat real. 

[00:17:18] Zach: Nice. I've always subscribed to the 80 20 role, as long as I'm eating.

[00:17:22] Okay. Like 80% of the time. It's okay to indulge. Occasionally. Is that kind of how you roll to 

[00:17:28] Kayla: absolutely. I've tried all of the counting. I've tried so many different things in like trying to manipulate like my body composition. They all just made me super stressed and they all. Failed because I'm a, take it one day at a time kind of person.

[00:17:43] And I just need to, I love food. I love delicious food. I'm never going to stop 

[00:17:47] Zach: getting, I hear ya. I joke with people all the time that like the main reason why I work out and I try and stay healthy is so I can eat more than I should. 

[00:17:58] Kayla: Okay. If you're healthy, if overall you are healthy and you're happy with the way that your system, your vehicle feels, then I say you're winning.

[00:18:09] Zach: Agreed. I struggle a lot with, you know, where I want to be, what my body should look like, how I should feel. And I always miss on that really important moment of how I look now, how I feel now. And that's really the important part is how I feel. Now you can have goals and stretch goals, but like, just be, like you said, in the beginning, being aware of your body and what's going on is something that I think a lot of people miss, 

[00:18:33] Kayla: I'm trying to remind myself and other people too, you know, it's almost like in the.

[00:18:38] And the note of like social media. It's like, there are people that we look at and we're like, wow, they look great. I wish I could have that body. And they're miserable every day. They're miserable is what they could eat. They don't enjoy food. They don't enjoy how they feel. They actually feel like garbage because of how much they train or how little they eat or what they're eating.

[00:18:56] And not to say that there aren't healthy. Good ways to accomplish those goals, but then there are also people that we might look at and be like, well, I wouldn't maybe necessarily, and they're so happy. They're so happy with what they eat and how they feel, and their markers are healthy. So I just think that it's important to remind yourself of that too.

[00:19:15] It's like just meeting a goal or having an idea of how you should or shouldn't lose. It's like just a very small portion of the bigger picture, 

[00:19:25] Zach: right? So with all the people that you work with, I'm sure you, you meet people who are on just from various levels of the health and fitness journey. What are some of the common things that you see people having trouble?

[00:19:38] Like that you would recommend people avoid when they're trying to get a little healthier, a little bit 

[00:19:43] Kayla: more fit. And I noticed that I think people should avoid, 

[00:19:46] Zach: avoid, stopped doing or should start doing, maybe we'll expand 

[00:19:50] Kayla: it. Well, one of the biggest things, and one of the biggest obstacles that I see is confidence and people thinking that they belong.

[00:19:58] So whether it's a CrossFit class, a yoga class, running a marathon, lifting weights, doing burpees or whatever, The biggest obstacle that I see for most people is thinking that they can't thinking that they'll never be able to thinking that whatever cards they've been dealt, it's just, they can't. And so I find that one of the biggest things, one of my biggest obstacles as a coach and one of my most rewarding kind of challenges as a coach, Just gently pushing people along and being like, no, you can like, no, this is a thing you can do it.

[00:20:31] And just try, you know, I actually had the U Albany basketball team and a yoga class a couple of weeks ago, and we were working on relaxing. We were working on breathing and relaxing. And we were doing some ankle mobility, which is something that most people struggle with, whether you're a basketball player, runner, whatever.

[00:20:49] And I was having them do this stretch to one of the kids just looked at me and he was like, no. And I was like, well, what do you mean? He was like, I can't. And I was like, you tried for two seconds. So you're telling me that after two seconds of you. And he was like, I just, I can't, I never been able to, and I was like, well, okay, you'll try today.

[00:21:06] And you'll try again tomorrow. And the next time that I see you, and then if you keep trying, and in three months from now, you still can't, then maybe we can talk about reapproaching and he was just like, okay. And that's kind of like the mindset that I try to gently push onto people is like, just because you can't do something today doesn't mean that it's not for you.

[00:21:24] It doesn't mean that you'll never be able to. And I think a big part of that is like mobility for a lot of people. They're like, I can't get into that position. And I'm like, that's just cause you don't do it. So today let's just start doing it. And if you do it today and tomorrow on the next day, then maybe in three years from now, you'll be able to, and it'll be super rewarding because you've worked hard on it.

[00:21:44] Zach: I hear. Like, oh, I can't go to yoga. I can't go to CrossFit. I need to be more flexible before I go to yoga or I need to get in better shape before I go to CrossFit. How would you answer those comments to people who are avoiding going in and just starting 

[00:21:59] Kayla: the work? The first thing that I usually say is, okay, what's your.

[00:22:03] Well, wait back up. First thing I usually say is, well, do you want to, do you want to go to yoga? Do you want to do cross it? And if they're like, well, yeah, but I don't think I can. And I really just want to lose 10 pounds before I go to cross it, then I'll say, okay, well, what's your plan? How are you going to lose 10 pounds?

[00:22:19] Because you want to do cross it. And you have this story that you have to lose 10 pounds. So what's the plan. How are you going to get there? And 10, I help you with that. And most of the time people don't have a plan. So it just. Sparks that roadmap in their mind of like, okay, am I just putting obstacles in my own way?

[00:22:37] Am I just making up a story or do I really have a plan? Do I really want to, because we all know if you really want to do something you worked to make that happen and you figure it out and you come up with a plan. But I think. People oftentimes say that they can't do things. And I just try to reassure them that we have people of all ages of all abilities in every single one of my yoga classes and every single one of my CrossFit classes.

[00:23:05] And if you are in the right place with the right coaches, with the right teacher, You will, will feel accomplished no matter what your level is. Like, we'll figure something out for you to feel like you worked on something and that you achieve something. 

[00:23:17] Zach: Yeah. And I can testify to that because I have historically been like super competitive.

[00:23:22] So when I can't do something, I get really upset with myself. But I have felt so comfortable in your gym and even in your yoga classes, you know, doing things where in my mind, I feel like I'm not doing enough or there's not enough weight on the bar. And I feel super comfortable doing it, but like with all the proper support and guidance.

[00:23:40] So I'm very appreciative of that. So thank you. You're welcome. You mentioned confidence a little while ago, and I remember, I think it was maybe a month ago, we were just doing handstands against the wall. And for some reason, like I threw myself up and I fell right down. I threw myself up and I fell down and it was weird because, and then you came over and you're like, no, you can do it.

[00:24:00] Let me see, show me. And then I did it and I was up and there was no. And like I got down and I was like, oh, it was just a confidence issue. That was weird. It was just an interesting realization. But to have you right there, you know, just going, Hey, just do it. And you're fine. So confidence is just such a huge barrier for so many people.

[00:24:18] Would you, do you want it, can you expand on that a little 

[00:24:20] Kayla: bit? I think part of it. It's so tied to like the stories that we have of ourselves and our worthiness in the spaces that we're in. So, you know, some people come to cross it and they've been working out for years and they can do pull-ups and back squats and they feel pretty comfortable.

[00:24:38] With most of the things that we do. So they have a lot of confidence and then you have the people that come in, who've never done anything. And they also have this confidence because they're like, this is all new. I'm just going to do my best. And you know, I'm learning all this new stuff and every day is a PR and every day is a win.

[00:24:55] And then you have. Most people, I would say the majority of the people that come, they have dabbled in some sort of fitness that they have a level of expectation and they don't think that they're going to be able to live up to the coaches, expectation, whatever story they have at that might be. And they don't think they think they're being judged by other people in the room.

[00:25:17] And that's definitely something that I like to. Kind of foster in our community is like, I want to, I want to see you try a Cartwheel and fall. And I want to show you me doing a Cartwheel and falling. And, you know, we get in the habit and myself included of like posting our wins because they're exciting and we want to celebrate them.

[00:25:36] But I also want people to feel comfortable and connected. In failing, like go for that, you know, go for that, pull up because how many times? I mean, I don't know about me, but how many times have you, I said to you, or someone else said to you try this and you're like, well, I don't know, just try it. And then you do it and you didn't think that you could do it, but you did it or you didn't.

[00:25:57] And then someone says to you, like, okay, keep practicing. Well figure out a different approach to it. And I just think that most people lack confidence because they don't think that it's okay to fail confidence in the fact that failing is okay. That makes sense. 

[00:26:15] Zach: Yeah, it totally does. It. That's one of the things that I had to learn, the hard way that it's okay to fail.

[00:26:20] It's how you respond to the failure is really what's important. Right? Do you get back up, try again and keep that. These are things I try and instill in my daughter all the time, because she gets upset when she can't do something the first time perfectly. And that's just being normal. That's how most of us are.

[00:26:35] Kayla: But also I think, you know, this is the conversation. I often have the. People with the longer term goals, like one of our coaches CALSEIA she focuses a little bit more on Olympic weightlifting and she has these big goals and she also has small goals, like weekly goals for different movements and different weights.

[00:26:53] And we're always having a conversation. This is a big picture thing. This is like, you want a 200 pound snatch at some point in your life or in the next three years, you know that it's not going to happen this week. So, you know, you have your little goals of like, okay, I'm going to lift this today and this smile and this the next day, but progress isn't linear.

[00:27:11] So just like. Reminding yourself and reminding other people that you have to look at the big picture and success in, whatever it is that you're trying to do is likely going to happen after 10,000 hours or after 10 months or 10 years of training for something not every single day, every single time you approached the bar or whatever it is, that's the task at 

[00:27:34] Zach: hand.

[00:27:35] So you're saying I actually have to devote a lot of time. Not really. 

[00:27:42] Kayla: I feel like everyone has the same number of hours in the day, and everyone has the same opportunity to make the same decisions, whether it's what you're going to eat, whether or not you're going to wake up 10, 20, 30, an hour early, move your body.

[00:27:58] Whether you're going to read before bed, whether you're going to do some breathing exercises and re exercises and relax. If you incorporate those things into your life, it doesn't take extra time. It just becomes your life. 

[00:28:11] Zach: That makes sense. Yeah. It's, I've talked to a few people where like they would scroll on their phone before they went to bed or like get into bed and look at their phone and then two hours goes by and that's two hours that you could have been sleeping or.

[00:28:24] And then you wake up the next day and you don't feel good. And then you keep going and to do the same thing and it gets worse and worse and kind of goes down into a hole and I've experienced all of that myself. And it's hard to get out of that. It's a big struggle to get out of that hole. So what would you say to somebody who's like, I don't know what to do to get out of this.

[00:28:43] What would you tell them to do? I know it's all very situational, but what are some things that you would think of? Well, 

[00:28:50] Kayla: speaking from experience, you know, just being totally blind and totally candid. Uh, lately I have found myself in a bit of a hole, like in my personal life, and I've leaned on people close to me to help me, um, to support me and to, you know, when I need to talk, just calling them and they just listen.

[00:29:12] Or if I say like, I really need this knowing who I can call that will support me. So, you know, whether it's like something emotional or whether it's, you don't want to be on your phone, like have someone. Hold you accountable to that, like have a friend that checks in with you the next morning and says, how long did you scroll on your phone for last night?

[00:29:31] Or you have that friend that you might text when you go to scroll on your phone, you text them and say, okay, I'm going to bed now. Like putting my phone down. Goodnight. I think that that, because. In most of our struggles in life, they become most challenging when we think that we're alone. And we think that we're like the only one going through it.

[00:29:51] So whether it's like having someone, an accountability, buddy, that's doing the same thing. So you're like, all right, we're putting our phones down at 10 o'clock tonight. Talk to you tomorrow. Or you have that person that's like that you can reach out to and say, I'm really struggling. And they know how to support you in the way that benefits you.

[00:30:08] Right. 

[00:30:09] Zach: So what I'm hearing is you don't have to do everything on your own. Right? I know my history is. If I can't do this on my own, something's wrong with me, but you know, I've, I've turned the page now. Obviously I, I, you know, go to your gym. I find working out with a coach is so much better for me than, you know, doing home exercise videos, without somebody checking my form.

[00:30:30] I love that idea of having accountability partners. You, you know, as a yoga teacher, as a coach, even you have people that you reach out to, to help you through your process whenever you need it. 

[00:30:40] Kayla: Yeah. I had someone a couple of years ago, um, right after I lost my dad, actually. And I'm trying to get better at like sharing this type of stuff.

[00:30:49] Um, because it's hard at the same thing. Like I want people to think that I've got it all together and I'm strong all the time, even though I'll talk about it. I don't, for some reason, love to like post and like put it out into the bigger world. Um, but I had a woman come to my yoga class. It was like a month after I lost my dad.

[00:31:07] And I was also going through separation with my husband at the time. And she just walks in and she was like, you're so lucky. She's like, you're just a yoga teacher and like, well, what, what do you have to worry about in life? You're just like so happy. And so like calm all the time. And I just like looked at her with daggers in my head.

[00:31:27] And I didn't say it because I knew it wasn't her fault, but I was like, no clue, like, no, you know, and that also was a turning point for me to realize that, like, you never, you don't have any idea what people have going on in their life. And you should always assume that everyone is going through something, whether it's.

[00:31:47] Family kids, how finances like everyone's going through. 

[00:31:51] Zach: Yeah. And it's all relative, like something that you wouldn't necessarily struggle with, someone else may be struggling with. And it's real for them as well. Like even though you wouldn't have any issues with 

[00:32:01] Kayla: it. Yeah. You know, and it's the same thing in fitness and movement and cross it and yoga.

[00:32:07] Someone's like, oh, I can't get this squat. And I'm like, yeah, that's fine. It's like easy for me, but I try to be compassionate and be like, okay, well it's too, just like realizing where frustration comes from. Like, is it really the squat or is it something bigger in your life? It's always something else. I find that, especially in the gym when people are like frustrated or, um, kind of like lashing out or upset about something, I'm like, it's not the spot.

[00:32:34] It's something else. And I don't. 

[00:32:37] Zach: Yeah, I love that you used squat as an example because that's been the bane of my existence now for the last four months, but I'm better now. Well, why 

[00:32:45] Kayla: do you think it's? Why is it the squat other than like your knees and like the physical, like, why. If I was just like, okay, 

[00:32:56] Zach: well, I wouldn't be happy.

[00:32:57] I know that. Um, because I like squatting, but it's because I get fitter and I get all of those brain chemicals that go go wild in my head, but you're absolutely right. Like my squatting, like there's definitely some physical mobility issues and the way I was doing it that were causing some issues, but I hold all of my stress and.

[00:33:18] My upper back and mid back. And when I squat, it actually prevents my hips from moving in the way that they need to, because of all the stress that I'm holding in the middle of my back. So like my emotional side, my mental side are all impacting whether or not I can do a good squat or. On various days. So fortunately we've been working through some of the physical pieces, but the emotional side, I still need to work through.

[00:33:42]

[00:33:42] Kayla: use the squat as an example because the squat tends to be like a really emotional thing for a lot of people. This squat is probably what most people would think is like the simplest thing to do. And we feel like if our squad is getting better than we're getting fitter and when we fail our squats, like I see very often when people fail their squats, there's like a very.

[00:34:04] Clear emotional reaction. It's like you've been crashed. Your ego has been crushed. You failed the whole cycle and myself included, like for some reason, the squat just seems to be something that makes people upset, excited. There's like a lot of emotion wrapped around it. So 

[00:34:23] Zach: with all of this, you teach yoga.

[00:34:27] We've got Kayla Marie movement coming into play here, but what if somebody is just not working out, but they want. What are a couple of things that they could do today that they could get going in that direction to be in a healthier fitter. My 

[00:34:43] Kayla: biggest suggestion would be find a group of people that would support you.

[00:34:47] Um, because if you have support, then things just become easier. Doing things alone. If you're already not exercising, the chances of you waking up 30 minutes early and doing. 10 rounds of five air squats and push-ups and 15 dumbbell rows is likely not going to happen. Um, it's a big change. So that would be my first suggestion is just finding one person, finding a group of people to support you.

[00:35:13] And then my second suggestion would be just keep it simple. Um, just start to move your body. It doesn't need to look any special way. It doesn't need to fit any moles is just about you feeling comfortable, moving your body and breaking a sweat and becoming more in tune with your body. Um, and that's something that I tell people when they come to the gym for the first time and they've never done CrossFit.

[00:35:35] I tell them your first month here. I just want you to come. Am I going to be part of the community? I want you to meet people. I want you to sweat, and I'm going to try to keep things as simple for you as possible so that you don't have to think too much. You don't have to be confused. You'll already be confused or the way that things flow, just because it's new to you, but I just try to keep things simple.

[00:35:56] So I think keep it simple. Stupid, right?

[00:36:05] Yeah, and you deserve it. You deserve to have a relationship with your body and with yourself that allows you to feel successful simply because you've showed up unattached to the goals. Goals are fun. Goals are important once you've been doing it and you're trying to move a needle forward. But everyone deserves to have that relationship and that time with themselves where they can just be.

[00:36:34] Zach: Is there any last words of wisdom that you want to tell everyone? Last 

[00:36:37] Kayla: words of wisdom? The cake, first of all, dessert first that's my Emma dessert. First Katniss is a lot of words dessert first, because it's important to just enjoy life and just be kind to yourself no matter what you do. No matter where you are in your life, the best way to get to where you want to be and to move forward is to start just by being kind to yourself.

[00:37:04] Thank you. Thank you. 

[00:37:07] Jeremy: That was Kayla Marie Zach's actual yoga instructor and CrossFit coach. You can find links to her and her gym and her yoga studio on our website. The fit mess.com. While you're there. Uh, we want to encourage you to follow us where we will soon be opening an exclusive Facebook group to our followers to offer content.

[00:37:25] You can only find there some accountability tools, challenges to reach your goals and ways to be an active participant in the show. You will find a link to that Facebook page also on our website, the fitness dot. 

[00:37:36] Zach: So you can follow Kayla online anywhere you are, and get a lot of great advice and tips that she has there.

[00:37:41] But if you are in the Albany New York area, I highly recommend you check out the. And check out the yoga studio, CrossFit for the people in the hot yoga spa. They are both just excellent places where you can be yourself and grow into the best version of yourself that you can be highly recommend them.

[00:38:01] Jeremy: You might actually run into 

[00:38:02] Zach: Zach. Yeah, you, that would not 

[00:38:04] Jeremy: be a benefit of that. When you, when you see the awkward guy really, really struggle. It's Zack that you can just walk up and say, hi, 

[00:38:11] Zach: struggling. That's when we have to do something hard, I got to go to the bathroom. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back 

[00:38:17] Jeremy: in 20 to 30 minutes, Zack great interview.

[00:38:20] I loved her vulnerability and her acknowledgement that, that she struggles with, that she even said at one point, like I'm trying to get better at this and how she sort of opened up about some pain that she's having. And I appreciate that in that vulnerability, she reminded us even, you know, the perfect hot yoga CrossFit instructor who seems to have it all together.

[00:38:38] Also has problems and a good reminder that you just, you never know the struggles that someone's going through and no matter how perfect it looks on Instagram or in the gym or whatever, I just thought that was really 

[00:38:47] Zach: powerful. Yeah. I mean, that's the whole point of the show, right. To normalize it. Right.

[00:38:50] Because we don't have it together. We're all struggling in one way, shape or another, right? 

[00:38:55] Jeremy: Yeah, absolutely. And also great reminders about making sure that if you are going to start any kind of a fitness routine, start small, get out, move your body break. And do what you will do again, that is the best advice I've ever heard in this space is that if you think you're going to go to CrossFit every day and you know, you won't, don't go.

[00:39:12] If you think you're going to go lift heavy stuff every day, but you know, you won't don't start, but if, you know, you can go for a walk every day, start there. And honestly, just a little glimpse into my own routine. Yeah. That's basically what I've been doing since I moved to my new home and NBC, and I've walked all the time, lots of, kind of shorter walks throughout the day.

[00:39:31] But in the last few weeks, I've noticed that I have more energy and I'm feeling I'm getting a glimpse of what it's like to be used at. Cause that's not enough. I can feel like I need to push more. So I actually went for my first run the other day and that was awesome. And like, I'm nice. I printed out a program to go.

[00:39:46] We have a gym here at the community where I live. I'm going to go and actually do a workout in a. Try and work that in a couple of times a week, I can just feel that my body is getting stronger and getting healthier just by doing the small steps that I started with. And so now I'm ready to ramp it up and follow.

[00:40:01] Also some of the advice in the interview we just heard. 

[00:40:03] Zach: Yeah. Especially right there at the very end, eat the fucking kid, eat the 

[00:40:07] Jeremy: cake. That's that's another, just a little parenting tip, by the way. If you can lead with dessert, it's amazing how much your kids will actually eat dinner after, because usually they'll eat like half of it and go I'm full.

[00:40:17] Where's the. Cause they're just, um, this food nonsense, but if you can get that out of the way, it also gets the sugar processed sooner tells us. So they might actually fall asleep on time. 

[00:40:26] Zach: Right. That's a good point. Right? That's the try that excellent tips. That's what, the exception that I'm really out for the cake for myself.

[00:40:32] I don't care what my kids that's true. That's I just want the cake for me. That's a good point, which it's my wife's birthday today. So I'm totally gonna eat the cake. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should probably. Maven to two 

[00:40:44] Jeremy: whole cakes. Why not? It's a special day. It's a special day. Celebrate for God. Well, that's going to do it for this episode of the mess podcast.

[00:40:52] Thank you so much for taking this along for whatever you've been doing while listening to us, we appreciate being a part of your day. Just want to remind you that we are launching a new Facebook group. We would love to have you be a part of it. Start by just following us on Facebook. If you don't. We will be inviting followers there.

[00:41:06] So head on over to the fitness.com and look for the Facebook link there, or just search for us on Facebook, it's pretty easy to find us. And there's of course, links to that on the show notes for this episode@thefitness.com, that's going to do it for this week. Thanks so much for listening. We will be back next Wednesday with a brand new episode@thefitness.com.

[00:41:24] Kayla: We know this podcast is amazing and doesn't seem to like anything, but we need a legal disclaimer. Prior to implementing anything discussed in this podcast is your responsibility to conduct your own research and consult your physician. You should assume that Jeremy and Zach don't know what they're talking about, and they're not liable for any physical or emotional issues that occur directly or indirectly from listening to this podcast.

Kayla Marie

Lover of Movement

Kayla Marie is a lover of movement of many kinds. Her journey in life and the fitness world have led her to having a passion for exploring new means to move the body, move it well, and in a way that allows people to enjoy life to the max. Kayla has been teaching yoga for 8 years, and coaching CrossFit for 3, and plans to continue to grow her knowledge of movement so that she can better serve people in her life.