July 7, 2021

Learn the Secrets to Building True Mental, Physical and Emotional Toughness for Success and Fulfillment with Greg Everett

Learn the Secrets to Building True Mental, Physical and Emotional Toughness for Success and Fulfillment with Greg Everett

Greg Everett is the author of “Tough: Building True Mental, Physical & Emotional Toughness for Success & Fulfillment.”


Greg Everett is a national champion weightlifting coach, a documentary filmmaker, and the author of Tough: Building True Mental, Physical & Emotional Toughness for Success & Fulfillment.” We talk with him this week about what being tough truly means, and why it matters. He shares practical tools and advice that will help to build confidence and create disciplined habits to support your goals.

Breaking down the stereotypical image of what “toughness” usually looks like, he shows us a better and more complete picture and how to get there. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What it means to be tough
  • How to stick to your commitments
  • Why it is important to be tough
  • What you can learn from your emotions
  • How to build character

Resources

Guest Website

Fit Mess Toolkit

Transcript

TFM-GregEverett-FINAL

Host: [00:00:00] This is the fit mess conversations with world-class experts in the fields of mental, physical, and emotional health. And this episode, 

Greg Everett: [00:00:09] stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Everyone freaks out about what their competition is doing. You cannot control anything about that, unless you're going to go, uh, you know, Tonya Harding, one of them, um, which I do not recommend as a professional coach clear.

Now, 

Host: [00:00:25] here are your hosts, Zach and Jeremy. 

Jeremy: [00:00:28] Who are you? What are you able to do? What are you able to withstand and what are you willing to do? If you can answer those questions, you're probably pretty tough. Not in a macho. I can kick your ass in a bar fight kind of way, but truly tough on the outside and the inside.

That's according to our guests this week, his name is Greg. He's a national champion, weightlifting coach, a documentary filmmaker and the author of tough building, true mental, physical, and emotional toughness for success and fulfillment. I'm so glad that you introduced both of us, relate to Greg Everett because first of all, his dry sense of humor, I literally could not get enough of, I love talking with them.

So this interview is going to be awesome. I can't wait to share it with you, but, but Greg Everett is a, is a big deal, especially in the CrossFit world that you spend some time there. How did you even come to learn who Greg. 

Zach: [00:01:19] Yeah. So my coach at CrossFit for the people. Thank you, Kayla. I was telling her about the podcast one day and she mentioned Greg Everett.

And that we should, we should have him on so I, I took note of it. I actually had never heard of him. And I went home and looked up the book and I was like, oh, great, tough. Another stereotypical, you know, tough guidebook. But the, the, the subtitle, you know, had emotional and mental in it. So I was like, oh, maybe this will be interesting.

And, and I actually read it in like a four hour sitting. Like just, it was just such a great book about, and it covers so many things. So I was really happy that she, she mentioned that we should be talking to this guy because I think this is a great book and I'm really happy that we got to well, and I think, 

Jeremy: [00:02:00] you know, you mentioned the title.

I think he would even agree with you here. You'll hear a, he mentioned a few times that the title, it wasn't quite what he was going for. I feel like somebody sort of pushed that in, in a certain direction, but you're right. The book is full of great lessons, full of great ideas and you know, the whole concept of being tired.

You know, we, we talk a lot about masculinity on this show and the idea of being tough and, and that's something that I've really struggled with my whole life. And I was thinking about it the other day when I was out changing a flat tire on my car. I'm driving home, ran over something, blew a tire. Luckily I got home.

So I could embarrass myself in my own driveway instead of on the side of the road. But I mean, I'm having to read the directions. I'm like, okay, first of all, where is the Jack? Oh, good eye. How does this thing work? Okay, good. Like I don't instinctively know these things. I don't know that all men do, but I get the sense that that most men would take the instructions and go, okay, good.

I'll use that to kneel on. Yeah. Now I'm going to do the real man work of changing this tire. I'm pouring over it word for word. Okay. Step one. Huh. And yeah. And it's stuff like that, but I think is, is sort of what he's getting at in this book. Really just being prepared for disaster being prepared for whatever life throws at you, instead of just reacting in the moment.

Zach: [00:03:15] Yeah. Both physically and mentally. Right. And not, not being prepared in a way of like knowing everything, but knowing how to react to things. Right. 

Jeremy: [00:03:22] Right. And that's. So much of what I think we try to do here just to, you know, taking care of your body before it falls apart, instead of waiting for it to fall apart and then going, oh God, what do I do now?

Right. 

Zach: [00:03:33] Mindful practice mindfulness practices where, you know, it's the mindfulness practices are what prepare, prepare you for the real life situations that you're in, that you can handle. Yeah. 

Jeremy: [00:03:43] Yeah. Cheryl and I were driving over the weekend. We went up to the family cabin and we were having a conversation about, and I don't remember what the conversation was about, but within it was the idea of, of making sure you have a fire extinguisher in your.

And I was like, yeah, of course. That's, that's just common sense. And it's like, do we have one? Like, no, we did once in a, in a kit that we had a few years ago, but as a, but it's like things, things like that. And like knowing where your water shut off is in your house. Like these, these sort of like a basic grown-up things that you're supposed to just kind of pick up along the way.

You do have to be kind of intentional unless somebody taught you that, unless that was part of your upbringing. You have to sort of seek out what am I supposed to know as a grownup? And I think that's some of what he's getting at here. 

Zach: [00:04:24] Well, see, that's where my anxiety comes really handy. Right. Because I imagine all the worst case scenarios.

So I know exactly how to shut off the water in the house. I know how to shut it off for each, you know, faucet. I know where all the gas lines are. I know where the underground electrical lines are. So if I dig there. No, my anxiety keeps me alive in those situations. Hopefully I never have to use them, but there are seven fire fire extinguishers in the house too.

Jeremy: [00:04:50] Worry about the whole, you know, uh, the whole manifestation concept, right? Like if I'm thinking about that, the house might burn down or there's going to be a massive flood and I needed to shut the water off. Am I creating that in my life by, by even opening up the possibility in my head? Have I told the universe?

Yes, please flood my home so that I can in the last minute, figure out how to turn the wall. Yeah, no, I 

Zach: [00:05:12] th this is this, this actually comes into play into my job and like it, if you are fully prepared and you think about the worst case scenarios and you prepare for them, if should they ever happen, generally, you don't need any of that stuff.

But if you don't prepare, if you don't think about it, if you just put it off, that's when you really need it and the universe will answer and kind, oh, you didn't do anything about it. Well, let me just throw this your way, see how you handle that. Exactly. All right. With that, I think we should move over into the interview with Greg Everett.

He's the author of tough building, true mental, physical, and emotional toughness for success and fulfillment. I really enjoyed this conversation. He brings together two of my worlds like this, you know? The journaling piece and the being in touch with yourself and then the strong side of like lifting heavy weights and doing tough things.

So I really enjoyed talking to them. I know who you are, but before we really jump into talking about your book, um, I would love to, if you could give us a little bit of background, tell us about yourself and who you are. I know you're, you're kind of a big deal in your industry, so I'd love to hear more about your book.

Greg Everett: [00:06:16] Yeah, I'm a big deal. If you ask very specific sets of people outside of that, very right. Um, what I would be known for is as a, a, uh, a coach of the Olympic sport of weightlifting. Uh, so I've been doing that for many years. The first weightlifting book I put out, uh, Olympic weightlifting and complete guide for athletes and coaches.

I put that out the end of 2008. I believe it's in its third edition now. That thing's everywhere. I mean, it's used in university courses. The, you know, it's the number one book on that topic out there. That's probably what I'm best known for. Of course, I coach along with my wife, the catalyst athletics weightlifting team, or a national championship team, um, we've got, you know, quite a few, uh, you know, lifters at the world championship level.

We now have one going to the Olympics that my wife, coaches, Maddie Rogers now 2021 Olympics. Very odd. But so I've been in and around that the, the weightlifting, the strength and conditioning, the kind of fitness industry for, uh, quite a lot of years. And, and, uh, that's how I make my living as coaching and creating largely instructional content for the sport of weightlifting, 

Zach: [00:07:30] typical, tough guy things.

Right. I mean, What I would think of when I think of tough, but, you know, as I was reading your, your new book, tough, you know, I wasn't expecting it to go as broad as it did. Right. There was, you know, went from journaling to, you know, being physically capable, to kill a person to protect your family. Right. It was very, very broad.

So I, you know, I guess we can jump right into the book. Like what, what does tough mean to you? And could you, could you summarize that. 

Greg Everett: [00:07:57] Yeah. And then honestly, the number one dilemma with that book was the title. And, you know, to me personally, it makes perfect sense, but I had to spend a large portion of that first chapter of the book explaining what exactly, I mean by tough and what it is to be tough, because I do think there are so many misconceptions and, and really poorly formed ideas about toughness out there that are unfortunately influencing too many people, primarily.

Uh, the male gender in, in terms of how they approach this or what they believe they need to do or appear, uh, as an, in all these different things. So to me, I break it down into four elements. First is character, and that is, uh, you know, your identity, who are you truly, you know, fundamentally at your core and included in that is, is what are your values?

Because these are the things that are going to. Inform all of your decisions. Uh, and so if you're not intimately familiar with those things and you are not actively determining what those things are, you, it's impossible to truly take responsibility for yourself and in the course of your life, Uh, because you're just, you're making these apparently arbitrary decisions.

Uh, you're, you're unable to commit to things long-term, uh, you're unable to really be content and, and find fulfillment because you don't know what it is. That's going to deliver you to those things. Next is, uh, capability. And this is, you know, the, the, again, the typical tough guy persona or image his capability is, is very much.

A physical trait, right. Is, is the ability to be strong and to beat people up and, and, you know, be tough in the bar or whatever it is. And, and there certainly is that element, right? You, you do need to be physically, uh, physically capable as much as possible, but in very broad terms. So what we're looking for is, is the ability to really handle yourself.

Any physical activity, the totally unpredictable and unusual to the day-to-day mundane, whatever. Um, so it's not just being strong, you know, it's, it's having the endurance and the durability to sustain long-term efforts, you know, that that become necessary for whatever, you know, unexpected circumstances.

But really critically, this includes knowledge and experience. This includes understanding how things work, why things happen, because what we're trying to do with capability is be prepared as well as possible for anything we encounter, you know, novel experiences we want to have. So much experience in, and, you know, so much, uh, knowledge in, in broad areas that when we encounter those novel experiences, which we've never run into before, we can figure our way through those things successfully, rather than.

Just throwing their hands up in despair because we just have no idea where to even start next is capacity, which of course is really intimately tied to capability. But commonly, we talk about resilience, which in my mind is kind of just the starting point. Resilience just means your ability to return to your original condition, following some kind of traumatic event or whatever.

And that's good. Like we don't want to be worse off. We don't want to be destroyed. But we should be taking advantage of these things and, and really exploiting them to our benefit in any possible way. So rather than simply just returning, you know, weathering the storm, coming back out from the seller at the end of it, and kind of just going back to our life as is.

We want to use that experience to learn, to grow, to become stronger, to become more aware, to become more engaged, intelligent, creative, resourceful, all these different things so that every single time, every experience we have, we are better prepared for the next one. Whether or not it's something we've experienced before.

And then finally we have a commitment and this is what really ties everything together. This is, uh, you know, encompasses the. Act of being who we are, the act of pursuing what's important to us consistently the act of pursuing greater capability and greater capacity. And so this is where, you know, people will talk about discipline and, and you know, all these things.

Well, we're looking at a routine creation and habit formation and structuring our lives in a way. That are conducive to what we need to pursue and who we want to be discipline. And in the, the, again, classic tough guy sense where we're just kind of sitting at the edge of our tightly made bed in a, uh, bare walled room with a single light bulb, just gritting our teeth, kind of got through a horrible life.

Yes. For, you know, the, the pretext of be calling ourselves tough. We're not achieving anything there other than self torture. So. Uh, this is about commitment and discipline with a purpose. And that is always tied directly to our underlying motivation, which of course is directly related to our values and our character.

One 

Jeremy: [00:12:49] of the first things you said there really rung a bell for me because a few weeks ago, we did an interview and posted an episode about masculinity. The author we talked to was, was he's kind of on a mission to sort of redefine it from. Robotics sitting at the end of the bed with a single light bulb vision.

And the response has been really interesting, as you said, particularly from the way men interpret masculinity or toughness. And that sort of thing is, I guess, how do you feel about the term masculinity and the way that toughness plays into that? Because there is this, this strange resistance I feel from a lot of men.

They can't articulate what it is about like typical feminine qualities that men could learn to adopt and have, I think, a richer life experience, but they can't put a name on what those qualities. But they certainly don't want to adopt them as men. Can you talk about kind of the, the, the barrier there?

Greg Everett: [00:13:40] Yeah. And this is, this is gonna have so many layers to it. Um, and I think a big part of the problem is that is our infatuation with labeling and categorizing. Like this trait has to be feminine. This trait has to be masculine. That's the number one person. Yeah. So if you have a man who is, you know, has, has grown up his whole life with influences that are saying, you know, strictly categorizing masculinity, uh, as certain traits, and then you're saying, well, I want you to do these things, which are conventionally more feminine.

It's going to be 100%, the most repugnant thing ever. You're going to get absolutely nothing but resistance there. They're not going to be interested. And I understand that completely because you're asking them to basically. Totally abandoned their sense of who they are and who the world thinks they are and who they think the world needs them to be.

And you know, all these different things. Um, it's like saying, uh, you know, telling someone that they have to be a totally different person. And so I think that's number one, we got to get rid of those labels, fundament. And I'm not saying you can't use them, but like they can't be the end all be all of what we're talking about.

Um, and so what we need to look at is just human characteristics, and we can say that, okay, generally, maybe women tend to be a little more. Um, emotionally honest, like they can express themselves and articulate what they're feeling and what they need a little better. Although at the same time we could argue, maybe they take that too far sometimes.

And then men are the exact opposite where we tend to internalize everything, refuse to communicate. We're like the least emotionally demonstrative human beings on earth. Um, and you know, to our detriment to a great extent. And so when it comes to masculinity, emotions is the perfect place to start because.

You first have to re understand what emotion is. It is not touchy, feely, uh, you know, dabbing your eyes with Kleenex while you talk to a counselor stuff. Like that's some of it, but emotion is really your body's physical responses to experiences, right? So that includes that knot in your stomach when you're afraid of something, but it's this unknown.

Uh, threat or it's, it's that immediate physical reaction where you step off a curb and almost get hit by a car. Cause you're an idiot. And didn't look, you're looking at your phone. Um, th th that's all emotion too, right? So we have to, as men, as human beings, because even a lot of women who are like, I'm going to get tired.

That's one of the things they do is they try, I'm going to stop being so emotional. Well, no, you don't, don't stop being emotional. We have to experience these things as our bodies intend, uh, and benefit from them because you ask anybody, well, what makes you happy? And they're like, well, being with my family or climbing mountains, and it's like, well, what makes you happy about those things is the way they make you feel.

That is a moment. Yeah, right. You don't, you're not pleasurably overwhelmed with intellectual thoughts about mountain climbing. Like that's not, what's making you happy when you do that, even though the intellectual side of it could be enjoyable. And so we have to understand that. And then really what it comes down to is recognizing that all of us gender, you know, universally.

It's a matter of balancing emotion and rational thought appropriately for the given circumstances, right? Um, it's not eliminating one or the other. It's not saying one is better than the other, or one is a detriment and one is a benefit. They both have roles to play. And, and that the trick is not allowing, you know, allowing one of them to dominate inappropriately and cause us to make poor decisions.

And, and, uh, he, you know, making decisions based strictly on emotion is almost always a terrible idea. Right, but also totally, you know, ignoring and denying emotion and trying to be very robotic and mechanical about things often means that we lose out on so much of the kind of meaningful, enjoyable experiences.

Yeah. 

Zach: [00:17:45] So I know this book was published this year and you know, it seems like this was a really well-timed book for the last year that, you know, the world has gone. Was that your intention to, um, did you, did you come up with this while the pandemic was happening or is this something that's been rolling around in your head that prior to the 

Greg Everett: [00:18:05] pandemic it's been something I've been thinking about?

Of, you know, vacillating between actively and totally passively for 10 plus years, really my whole life. And it's, it's really just taken this long for things to crystallize enough for me to feel I could communicate it and actually finished writing the book kind of right as the pandemic kicked off right around March of last year.

And so, in, in a sense, like you said, it was perfect timing because, you know, So many of us have had really trying experiences, you know, learning our security was largely an illusion in so many ways. And, and the kind of stability of our lives was not what we believed. But as, as far as getting a book out, it actually turned out to be like possibly the worst time ever.

Um, and so it's been really interesting in that sense where it's been so helpful to so many people, but it's, it's been harder and harder to get the book to them because of the circumstances of the publishing industry and that sort of thing. One 

Jeremy: [00:19:05] of the things that I love from the book that I can't be reminded of enough.

I don't know how many, you know, podcasts and books I've consumed trying to remember this lesson, but th the idea of, of improvement versus an end point, the fact that we always are striving towards. Hitting that certain low weight level or body shape or waist size or finishing that course or whatever.

There's always, we're always striving for an end. And I constantly need to be reminded that it's not about that end. It's about just being a little better and improving a little more. Can you talk a little bit about, a little bit more about, uh, your, your, I guess the point you're making with that? 

Greg Everett: [00:19:43] Yeah. Um, we are very kind of as modern people, very goal oriented and kind of end point focused, right.

Is once I hit this goal. Everything in my life is going to be great. You know, once I'm making 200 K a year or once I'm, you know, 125 pounds or whatever, everything's going to fall into place. The, the doves will come flying out of the car with me and you know what I'm um, and time and time again, prove to ourselves that that is not how life works.

Uh, and we refuse to heed that lesson, right? So we're constantly searching for new goals like, oh, this next one is that's going to be the one. I just, I just had the wrong goal. Goals are really critical. But the key with goals in my mind is that we have to have this kind of infinite end point for all of this stuff that is harmonious with again, character and values.

Like what, what, what, in this more universal sense is important to us. And are we pursuing, and then are our goals. These objective endpoints are. Basically, uh, way points on that path that kind of led us, you know, notch off as we go and realize that we're continuing to pursue this kind of all encompassing thing, which is what is most important.

And in that way, we can enjoy the process and find value in the process and meaning and the process and purpose rather than this. Endless checklist of things that never quite pans out. And so when you talk to someone about their goals and, and there's, again, this idea that once you, once they reach that point, you know, it's, everything's going to be good.

Um, but if you actually talk to someone more in depth about their experiences, The most enjoyable pieces of, of the, the, these goals is the pursuit of them, not the actual achievement. Right. So, and that seems really counterintuitive to a lot of us, but stop and think about it. Right. You know, w when you're really engrossed in a project, when you're just enthralled by what you're doing, you know, the whole time flies when you're having fun.

That's what you experienced and, and, you know, uh, Mahalia chick sent me, hi, I wrote the whole book called, uh, you know, flow about this flow state, where you're just, everything is working perfectly. You're humming along. It's the greatest thing ever. You don't achieve a flow state at the end of it. Right experience when you meet the goal and then suddenly it's like, you you've, uh, stumbled into Nirvana and, uh, you've achieved total enlightenment.

Um, it's that process that is so valuable to us. And so we, we have to be able to look at things like that, and it doesn't mean the goals are important. That means they have to be well-suited. Um, and, and, and, you know, uh, be in line with our character and our values, but we need to. Present in that process and recognizing that that is what's enjoyable, not all the time, but overall that's, what's enjoyable.

Jeremy: [00:22:39] Well, it's funny, just a quick anecdote today. When I was sort of reviewing my materials and kind of thumbing through the book again, uh, preparing for this interview, I hit that part and I was realizing, you know, I haven't really done anything physical in a few days. My work has been totally. And, you know, I've, I've got this goal of being in better shape and take in being a better, you know, physically in better shape.

And it was so funny, just hearing you say it's, it's not about, uh, you know, that goal it's about the improvement. I was like, I've got time right now. I can go for a 20 minute walk and it's so funny how I think. Not having a goal can, can maybe seem intimidating, but it also can be liberating because it's not about where am I going to be in a year.

It's about what can I do right now to get a little closer to that. And I just thought that was really important and a great reminder for me again, and just sort of reframing how we reach those goals and not putting so much emphasis on the end and more on the, on the. 

Greg Everett: [00:23:29] Well, and I use the analogy of, you know, if you're going to walk a mile, you can, you, you can sit there and, and, uh, you know, count your paces, like, okay.

A mile for a guy. My size is about 2000 steps. And so you take one step and you're like, I got 1,999 steps to go. And so you can look at it that way or with every step you're taking, you can be counting the progress, right? So it's, it's totally dependent on your perspective, how, uh, kind of discouraging or how galvanizing that experiences and, and, you know, looking at the things that you are pursuing.

Watching your progress and marking that off along the way with those intermediate goals, that's how you maintain motivation and commitment and find that sense of contentment and fulfillment. Rather than if we just focus on the end point, we're only there for a moment for the whole rest of the time, then we're miserable.

Jeremy: [00:24:24] Yeah, 

Zach: [00:24:24] the journey, the journey is so much more important. I want to ask you about, uh, this topic of ego and, you know, specifically, I think in your, in your line of work, there's probably, I know I experienced it with, with my workouts. I coming back from some injuries, right? And have had to use like an empty bar in any of my lifting.

And my ego does not like that in any way, shape or form. Right. Fortunately, I've got a great coach. Who's helping me through this and keeping me light on the loads and I'm getting better and I'm seeing the improvement, but I'm not really going for a goal. Right. I'm just going to make sure that I have movement without pain.

Inappropriate movement. So I'd love to hear your, your take on, on the ego and how we can make it go away or really not pay as much attention to it in, you know, in lifting or just in life in general. 

Greg Everett: [00:25:15] Yeah. I think it all comes down to our concern over other people's perceptions of us. Right? So w if you, if you can find out how to eliminate that concern, That problem disappears magically, right?

So you can then be focused on exactly what it is you are pursuing. So your purpose there is to be able to move well. Pain-free you're by yourself, in your garage doing that. No problem. You're focusing on that. It's great. It's awesome. Now, suddenly you go into a gym with a bunch of other people. You're like, ah, man, I got to throw some weight on here.

This looks ridiculous. Um, and so basically what we have to do is kind of create that internal environment of the garage at all times, right. Or, or, uh, my friend mark Freeborn who wrote the book violence of mind, uh, likes to use the term woodshedding right. This idea that you're going to go out to the woodshed.

Focus totally on this one project, ignore all distractions and just kind of isolate yourself. Um, it's that same idea. We just have to create that environment internally and, and that, that ability to, to shut off. That, that concern, that worry, that focus on what everyone else is thinking of us is the key to being able to pursue what's important to you without disruption, uh, without, you know, these totally unnecessary, uh, you know, sidesteps to like, well, I was doing great here getting better.

And then all of a sudden I went to the gym and there was all these girls looking at me. So I loaded up a bunch of weight. And now I just took 10 steps back and I've got to start this process over again. And the reality. And this is something that it took me many years to learn because I was a really self-conscious kid, those girls aren't looking at you, they couldn't care less what you're doing.

Right. Those guys aren't looking at you, they don't care. Um, and if they do it's because of some emotional, psychological baggage they have that they need to work on with their own therapists. You know what I mean? So it's, it's like when you let yourself get wrapped up in. That sort of thing. You're shooting yourself in the foot.

Um, and so I'm not saying it's an easy process to let go of that, but it is something that we have to pursue consciously every single day. And the easiest way to do it is, you know, the, the moment you start feeling yourself kind of diverge. What you know, is, is your correct path? Is Y you know, just asks, why, why am I responding?

Why am I reacting this way? What am I concerned about? What am I worried about? Um, and the more you can kind of talk it out with yourself and he's like, well, you know, that other guy over there is super strong and big, and he's probably, you know, laughing. Okay. You've probably not, but even if he is, do you know him?

Are you ever going to know him? Are you ever going to need him to care about how strong you are? And the answer is almost always no. Um, and so it's, it's this incredibly liberating. Uh, realization that you can have multiple times throughout the day, um, where you just kind of are setting yourself free to pursue what's meaningful to you rather than being so tied up with that ball and chain of everyone else's perception.

Yeah. 

Jeremy: [00:28:24] A lot of this reminds me of a lot of the stoic teachings that I've read. Is it, do you draw some inspiration from that? Just that sort of, that pursuit of the virtuous life and, and chasing your own, uh, development of your own character and your own self more so than, uh, achieving some external reward.

Greg Everett: [00:28:43] Yeah, I think ultimately, um, That pursuit of character and, and, and living in a way that is in alignment with your values is what allows you to achieve all these external objective things anyway. Right. So there's something I talk about, you know, as a coach, Um, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.

Everyone freaks out about what their competition is doing. You cannot control anything about that, unless you're going to go, uh, you know, Tanya or something, um, which I do not recommend as a professional coach to be clear. But what you can focus on is yourself improving constantly assessing reassessing in a, in addressing your shortcomings or weaknesses, whatever.

And that is how you become better than other people anyway, becoming better than you were yesterday. Is how you get better than who everyone else is today. Anyway. So no matter how you look at it, your, your focusing on, on what's most important to you is what's going to get you to any other goal you can come up with and it's going to actually make you happy in the end.

Versus starting with that external goal and trying to reverse engineer, that's how you end up with silly stuff like trying to prove your dad wrong. Cause he was mean to you as a kid or, or, uh, you know, going into some business that you, it makes you absolutely miserable because that's traditional where you're from or, you know, whatever the case is.

And then you avoid the midlife crisis. So very convenient. Yeah. 

Jeremy: [00:30:16] I love 

Zach: [00:30:16] the book. Surprised by, by how much it covered, but you know, is there, are there any last words, last things you want to, you want to tell everyone? 

Greg Everett: [00:30:26] Yeah, I think you should all buy my book.

Jeremy: [00:30:32] Most amazing dry sense of humor. I absolutely love it. Oh, my 

Greg Everett: [00:30:35] salesman. It was incredible to make the joke there where you, the, uh, publisher and editor. Worst nightmares. They say, well, who's your audience for the book? And like everyone, uh, because 99% of the time that's utter nonsense. But I really feel like it's a fair point with this book because so many people are, are kind of either, maybe not turned off by the title, but they, they see it and they say, well, I'm not, I'm not trying to be tough.

I'm not trying to get into some like special forces selection program. I, this is not for me. And so I think that again is the drawback of that title. Is that it. Unclear how much this covers and, and how appropriate it is for people who are not trying to be the classic tough guy. And that's the whole point really is, do learn that that is not an important thing to pursue.

It's, it's a counterproductive thing to pursue. And so this is really that's what the subtitle is all about is, is finding. You know, the, the emotional, the mental and the physical abilities and traits that are going to allow you to pursue life, find purpose, have a sense of meaning and, and enjoy, uh, your day to day.

Jeremy: [00:31:47] And with that, where do we learn more about you and pick up the book and all. 

Greg Everett: [00:31:52] Uh, becoming tough.com or the Instagram account at becoming tough is all about the book. Um, you can get it in print, uh, paperbacks, not out yet, but hard cover all the ebook formats, pretty much every audio book platform. So you can get it any way you like.

From pretty much anywhere around the world. Uh, and then if you are just looking for general stuff, uh, on Instagram is@catalystathleticsorcatalystathletics.com and that just covers every single thing. I'm up to. 

Jeremy: [00:32:21] Fantastic. Thank you so much for your time. This has been a great conversation and, uh, congratulations on the book.

Thank you guys. I appreciate 

it. 

Zach: [00:32:29] All right. That's our interview with Greg Everett. You off here of tough building, true mental, physical, and emotional toughness. For success and fulfillment. I really liked, uh, when he was talking about character and it really reminded me of the same, like how you do anything is how you do everything.

I couldn't stop thinking about that. You know, like if you really have that strong character, Underlying your life. Like everything that you do is going to have meaning and purpose for you and you know, the success, the money, whatever it is you're looking for. Like that stuff will come. If you're just being true to yourself and being true to your own 

Jeremy: [00:33:01] character.

Well, and it's funny to me of the four CS commitment. It was the one that stood out to me because anytime that I have just decided like deep in my bones, this is who I am now. This is what I do now. The success follows the idea of riding a bike, you know, 10 to 20 miles a day as a commute to work, you know, before I did it, I would have laughed in your face, but it was my brother who one day was just said, dude, you're just that weird guy, the rides, his bike to work now just make that decision and you'll do it.

And like within a week I was doing it because I was like, yeah, now I am that guy. I can be that guy. I'm that guy now. And it totally just changed my life. Forever. And so when I do make decisions like that, like whenever I've done some sort of a workout routine, like a beach body thing, I'm like, I'm just gonna finish this.

Then I do it because it becomes this, this deeper commitment rather than yeah. Yeah. I'll try, I'll try, you know, I'll, I'll make sure try and carve out some time every day or I'll just try and go for a run every day. Like it is it's that it's Yoda, right? It's do or do not. There is no time. Anytime I tell myself I, yeah, I'll make some time.

I'll I'll I'll try. I'm going to fail. So there is just this deep, just a solid commitment that you have to make to whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish. And I think that that's, I think when you have a well-defined character, it's easier to make those commitments and follow through with. 

Zach: [00:34:27] Yeah.

And then, and then his point about, you know, the journey being well, you asked the question, right? The journey being more important than the actual end goal. And I have to remind myself that all the time to stick with my plans, because, you know, just talk about weightlifting just because that's kind of his jam.

I go in and I, you know, I look at the workout and I make a plan. Like this is the smart plan for me because the skin to keep me healthy, this is going to keep me strong. Yeah. And I think it's the environment that I'm in now. Like I just feel really supported and it's easy to follow that plan. And that's the journey and it's doing wonders, like the, the improvements that I'm making.

Like if I look back to two months ago, it's the journey is amazing. Like I'm making great progress. So. But the end goal used to be. I want to get back to where I was. I've since changed that. Now I do have my end goal, but I'm not focused on that. I'm focused on what's the next step. What's the next thing?

How do I, how do I get there without killing myself? Because we all know that if I'm, if I don't have a plan and stick to it, I will hurt myself very bad. 

Jeremy: [00:35:32] There w there was a point in reading his book that it. You know, th these things happen whenever you're on this path and you are exposed to the same ideas in different ways.

The way he discussed improvement versus endpoint was, was a game changer for me because it is, we do, we get so caught up in what is the number on the scale and how do I get to the number that I want it to be. And, and, you know, the, the, the size on my pants and how do I get that to the number that I want it.

Where, if you do focus on what can I do today to beat yesterday? In fact, I, I saw something on social media over the weekend. That was literally those two words beat yesterday. And I was like, that is so simple. Like if you just repeat those two words to yourself, that can be a really easy mantra to think about when you go to, you know, get donuts for breakfast and go, is this better than when it did yesterday?

Like when you go to have pizza for dinner or you decide you're not going to go for that walk or that. Is this better than what I did yesterday. And if you use that as sort of the gauge, that's really the only reason to look back is, is am I doing better than what I did yesterday? And that I think is, is going to be a really powerful way for, just for myself to use those two words, to try and improve in all areas.

I'm trying to do it. 

Zach: [00:36:42] Right. And then, and then you can't make the same mistake that I make, where I reset the baseline all the time. All I do it all. So it's where it's like, you know, well, today I'm doing better than yesterday because I had two pints of ice cream yesterday. So I can have one today. 

Jeremy: [00:36:55] Yes, you can't throw the fight.

You can't eat a whole pizza today so that tomorrow you can just not eat a pizza. And when you gotta, you gotta be a little more, uh, uh, have a little more integrity than that. Well, 

Zach: [00:37:07] you have to have more character and character. Yes, exactly. All right. So before we go, I want to revisit, um, the topic we were talking about last time, how we, our, our, our show last time was about, you know, the, the power of money and you had lost some money and you put it out there to the universe to get it back.

So I want an update 

Jeremy: [00:37:29] and I have an update and you can, you can call this coincidence. You can call this deep in the woo, whatever you want to. In the middle of this move, there are many expenses, uh, getting scammed is not supposed to be one of them, as it turns out. That's what happened to me. It was, it was a large sum of money for my family to lose.

And it was a, it was a tough one. So in our last conversation we talked about, you know, just throwing it out to the universe to, you know, I welcomed this money back into my life. Thank you for giving it back. In whatever form it's coming. I really want the justice don't get me wrong. I want the person who took it from me to have to give it back to me, but I have, I've already thanked the universe for giving me the money back.

And oddly enough, you know, again, we are moving to Canada and one of the major expenses was going to be the actual moving of our stuff across the border and paying a moving company, a large sum of money to do that for us because of COVID restrictions. Well, as it turns out, Since we talked, those coverage restrictions have lifted the specific ones that applied to us that have allowed me to change the way we are moving all of our items and save almost exactly the same amount of money that we lost in this case.

Nice. 

Zach: [00:38:44] So you didn't actually get it back, but you don't have to have that expense. So at the end of the day, you're, you're going to be even, 

Jeremy: [00:38:52] yeah, I've, I'm, I've made the hole by the universe because I thanked the universe for giving me my money back. Well, maybe you 

Zach: [00:38:59] should thank 

Jeremy: [00:39:00] Canada too. Yeah. Thank you, Canada.

For, for the many splendors we are about to enjoy, but yeah, that's awesome. I, I, I try so hard to wrap my head around the science of manifestation. And, and even when I'm doing it, when I'm repeating the things and thanking the universe for whatever the thing is, there's always this little nagging. Like, this is bullshit.

This isn't real, this isn't good. And I have to like, shut that up and go, no, it is real. You don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to be just fine because the universe has my back. It's just, it's so funny how whenever I can fully. By my own bullshit. It works like it's, I don't know. I can't explain it, but there you go.

The, almost the exact amount of money that we lost, we are now saving in, in this move because of crazy timing. 

Zach: [00:39:52] And it was a little bit more than what you lost. Right? 

Jeremy: [00:39:54] I believe it was yeah. By, by a little bit, but yeah, just, you know, on, on paper, big picture. It's it's a wash. It's crazy. Yeah. That's awesome.

Yeah. So, so thank the universe for all that. It, uh, for all the. Desire. Thank you for already giving it to you. Do it a lot. Do it all day. Do it at every red light, do it at every downtime instead of scrolling through your phone. And as it turns out, it will probably be. Yeah. And 

Zach: [00:40:20] thank Canada too. Don't forget in Canada.

Always, always think Canada. All right. Well we'll thank Greg Everett too, for, uh, An awesome interview and just, you know, different ways of thinking about these things. I know my, my definition of being tough is, was already not the norm, but it's now a little bit different after reading his book and talking to him.

So I think we'll, we'll wrap it up there unless there's anything else, 

Jeremy: [00:40:43] just make sure you visit our website, the fitness.com, or you can subscribe to the show and sign up for the newsletter and send us all kinds of great messages and, uh, and ratings and reviews on whatever podcast player. All right. 

Zach: [00:40:55] And we'll be back next week 

Jeremy: [00:40:57] with a brand new episode@thefitness.com.

Thanks for listening. See everyone, 

Host: [00:41:01] you know, this podcast is amazing. It doesn't seem to lack anything, but we need a legal disclaimer. Prior to implementing anything discussed in this podcast is your responsibility to conduct your own research and consult your physician. You should assume that Jeremy and Zach don't know what they're talking about, and they're not liable for any physical or emotional issues that occur directly or indirectly from listening to this podcast.

Greg Everett

Coach / Author

Greg Everett is the author of Tough, Olympic Weightlifting: A Complete Guide for Athletes & Coaches, and several others, writer/director/producer of American Weightlifting: The Documentary, and coach of a USA Weightlifting national championship team.