The Elusive Source of Lasting Happiness
When was the last time you truly felt at peace? If you’re like most people in today’s fast-paced world, feelings of stress, anxiety, sadness, or anger probably arise on a regular basis. We’re conditioned to seek quick fixes – whether unhealthy habits, retail therapy, the latest self-help book. But lasting happiness never comes from external bandaids. True peace must arise from within first before manifesting in our outer experience.
This truth clicked for integrative life coach Andrea Vallelli after 30 years on a spiritual self-help journey. Despite knowing all the techniques, she still faced triggers and found herself suffering. She realized happiness couldn’t rely on changing outer conditions, since they constantly shift. By turning inward, we can tap an inner wisdom untouched by changing tides of fortune.
Retrain Your Brain to Value The Present
A key mental pattern causing suffering is fixation on the past or future versus fully embracing the present. Dwelling on what was or might be leads to anxiety and robs satisfaction from the here and now. Andrea suggests a simple but powerful antidote – make time every day for stillness through mindful breathing.
As little as 5 to 10 minutes noticing each inhale and exhale starts retraining the brain. Thoughts will continue arising, but you gently return focus to the breath. By taking this “above the maze” meta view, inner peace naturally follows. Clarity surfaces on next right actions aligned with your true values.
Feel It Fully: The Power of Emotional Release
When unpleasant emotions grab hold, many unhealthy coping strategies provide temporary escape – scrolling social media for a dopamine hit, downing a few cocktails to numb out, yelling at a partner to blow off steam. But relief found in destructive habits is short-lived. The underlying wound festers unaddressed.
What’s the healthy alternative when big feelings arise? We must welcome them rather than push away emotional messengers bearing important information about our inner world. By creating space for anger, sadness, hurt or fear we allow these energies to fully move through our bodies.
The cathartic release comes by physically expressing the feelings, through crying, screaming into a pillow, or punching a mattress. Active expression followed by conscious breathing and present moment awareness allows us to fully process challenges that arise. We glean the lesson and then graciously release the baggage that no longer serves our growth.
"Decreate" Your Limiting Stories
Beyond catharsis in the moment, we must also take responsibility for our experience by shifting the underlying stories filtering perception. We unconsciously carry beliefs that shape our reality, formed in childhood before we developed discernment. Stories that once comforted the ego can calcify into barriers preventing our expansion.
Andrea introduces a powerful concept – decreation. If creation gives form, decreation loosens rigidity by questioning outdated assumptions. We delete stories crushed under the weight of judgment, shame, or resentment. As we reconstruct meaning with compassion, we’re freed to create new empowering narratives.
Choose Inner Peace Over Being Right
Even armed with mindfulness tools and shifted stories, Andrea cautions the ego’s pull never fully disappears. When irritation arises, notice if you desperately cling to being right about a circumstance or other person. Peace eludes those demanding life meet their precise expectations. Surrendering righteousness loosens suffering’s grip. Graciously allowing outer chaos while resting in inner calm short circuits stress signals driving most disease. With constant practice, we catch our minds making up imaginings that litter the path to happiness with thorns. Curiosity dissolves judgments once we investigate whose voice echoes between our ears. Whose past pains replay on inner film screens convincing us small tales accurately reflect our divine essence?
Not ourselves nor any teacher, but direct experience holds transformational wisdom setting you free when you finally decide enough of suffering’s fray. So take heart and try tuning inward today! Focus less on problems life comes to display. Find 30 seconds right now. In stillness, happiness awaits your stay.
The journey of inner peace requires patience, courage, and compassion towards ourselves and others. But the destination is infinite wisdom, freedom, and joy awaiting each of us.
If you feel called to explore these concepts further, be sure to listen to our enlightening conversation with Andrea Vallelli on The Fit Mess podcast.
We unpack step-by-step practices so you can let go of limiting stories and unhealthy coping habits. Tune into episode 236 at www.thefitmess.com or your favorite podcast app to start unleashing your highest potential.
The path to happiness lives within you. I hope this discussion lights the way.
