Jan. 12, 2023

Overcoming Anorexia and Finding Healing through Bodybuilding: An Inspiring Interview with Health Coach Jaime Filer

Overcoming Anorexia and Finding Healing through Bodybuilding: An Inspiring Interview with Health Coach Jaime Filer

In this episode of "The Fit Mess," hosts Jeremy and Zach share their interview Jaime Filer, an online mental and physical health coach. Jamie shares her personal journey with anorexia and how bodybuilding helped save her. During the episode, Jamie...


In this episode of "The Fit Mess," hosts Jeremy and Zach share their interview Jaime Filer, an online mental and physical health coach. Jamie shares her personal journey with anorexia and how bodybuilding helped save her.

During the episode, Jamie emphasizes the importance of taking small steps toward improving your health. She believes that progress is like an elevator, it requires multiple cables to lift it up. Therefore, she encourages her clients to not rely only on the scale but to also use progress photos, how their clothes fit, how they feel in their own skin, measurements, and compliments from others as measures of progress.

Jaime also stresses the importance of clean eating, stating that the food we put in our bodies is brain fuel and can have a significant impact on our thoughts and feelings. She suggests incorporating whole grains, fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and fibrous carbs into our diets.

The conversation covers various topics, including:

  • The importance of building confidence from the outside in and how it can lead to consistency, competence, and confidence in other areas of life.
  • The connection between physical health and mental health, and how movement and exercise can help reduce the impact of childhood trauma and other issues.
  • The importance of using multiple measures of progress, such as the scale, clothes fit, progress photos, feelings, and measurements to track progress.
  • Cleaning up your diet and incorporating more fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains to fuel your brain and improve mental and physical performance.

It is important to remember that progress takes time and it is important to not put too much pressure on yourself. Jamie's advice is to take small steps and not wait 10 years to start on our journey toward a healthier lifestyle.

If you are interested in learning more about Jaime's work and philosophy, be sure to follow her on Instagram and visit her website at jaimefiler.com. She shares her personal journey, her experiences, and her knowledge of mental and physical health, and provides tips and advice for those who want to improve their overall well-being.

Don’t let the conversation end there. Join us in our Facebook Group where you and fellow Fit Mess listeners can connect for monthly challenges, accountability to reach your goals, and a supportive community. 

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Transcript

Content _ Jaime Filer - USB

Jeremy: [00:00:00] We know that sometimes the idea of going to the gym can be intimidating or worse. Maybe you hate it. I get it, believe me. But today we wanna talk about why it's worth it to push yourself to get. Even if you don't love the idea,

Zach: It's not just about the physical. Of exercise, although those are pretty great too. It's also about the impact that physical activity can have on your mental health. So if you're feeling down, stressed out, or just generally unenthused about exercise this episode's for you.

Jeremy: We'll learn from an expert how you can make physical activity a regular part of your routine and how it can help improve your mood, reduce stress, and boost your overall wellbeing. 

Zach: But first, this is the fit mess. We're together, we learn to develop habits that help us live beyond our mental health struggles to create happier, healthier lives.

Jeremy: He's Zach. He lives in the future with his.

Zach: He's Jeremy and he lives in the past with his depression, and we get together once a week in the present to share the obstacles we face and how we overcome them. 

I've had [00:01:00] an interesting day, Jeremy. I, it's been a long one. There was a moment in the morning today where I nearly lost my shit, and I won't go into detail of like why I nearly lost my shit. But let's just say I nearly lost my shit. I also went to yoga. Six 30 this morning, like just went zenned out, did my yoga, and I credit the fact that I did not lose my shit even though I was close to it. the yoga was the reason, right? Like I was just under that point of, of going crazy. So I, I credit yoga for letting me get through my morning. once I got like past whatever the situation I was working on though, I decided to go to a noon workout class with, and I never really take a lunch break. I usually just work right through lunch and I usually go to go to the gym at, you know, five 15 in the morning.

But I didn't this morning, but I went to the gym at noon and the thing that made me so [00:02:00] angry, the thing that stressed me out so bad. I just poured it into the workout and like just sweated and grunted and all the things. And by the end of the workout, like I fell over and I was like sweating and I was in a pile and I was like, oh, that really sucked.

And I felt so much better. All the stress left my body, all the anxiety that I had from the situation in the morning left my body. And then I actually was able to deal with the situation in the afternoon, like calmly and in a. Professional manner that I probably would not have been able to do so like I didn't work out at all today for like the physical benefit I worked out today for the mental benefit.

Jeremy: That is so awesome. And you know, we've talked a lot about how much I hate going to the gym, but I've actually been going lately and my story from today, I think is actually the opposite of yours. Because I started my day, well, actually you'll be proud of me. I got up at five o'clock in the morning this morning,[00:03:00] 

Zach: So

Jeremy: I know for you that's sleeping in right?

That's a late day. But for me that's, uh, at least an hour earlier. But I did it to give myself some time just to have that hour to. , but once the kids were off to school, I went to the gym and similar thing, poured myself into it. Not really working anything out. Right? No, no real issues. But I also had in mind that there was something new I had to do at work today, so I was a little nervous about that.

I saw a long list of Zoom calls I was gonna be on all day, and so I was realizing like, this is the only time I'm gonna be able to move until like late this afternoon. And so I just put everything into it. I put on the music and just dove into the. And because of that, it was so interesting how much what in the last few weeks has been a, a stressful situation and just I start getting anxious and I feel my heart racing throughout the day of just like, oh, these things, I gotta get these things done.

I've just been even keel all day. Happy to roll with whatever. Flames come up, put 'em out, [00:04:00] no big deal. And I credit it absolutely to that, that getting that energy moving in the morning, getting the endorphins flowing, getting everything rolling the way that your body wants to start the day, not st you know, sitting in front of the screen like I normally do, and having my body react the way my mind is reacting to the day of just like, oh, there's so much to do.

I gotta get cut up. I gotta do all these things I'm behind. It's just been such an easy, smooth day. So it's interesting that we have sort of opposite sides of the same. Both, uh, attached to how physical movement affects our mental health.

Zach: Yeah. That's amazing. And, and I will, I will say, congrats on getting up at five o'clock in the morning because it's not easy. It really isn't.

Jeremy: It, I mean, if I'm being honest, I, I fell asleep, uh, putting my kids to bed last night at like nine 30. So it really wasn't that hard. Like, it's not that big of an obstacle to have overcome, but, you know, but I'm counting it as a win.

Zach: Yeah, don't, don't, don't discard it. It was a win.

Jeremy: I actually, just to just, uh, quick aside, I've been trying to get up at five 30 with the goal of getting up at five just to give myself that full [00:05:00] hour. I don't even know what I'm gonna do with that hour yet. Like right now I'm just kind of playing with it and just like, that's just my coffee time, that's my me time.

That's just like quiet. Kids aren't screaming. There's not nine conversations happening at once. That's just me time and today I enjoy the shit out of it.

Zach: Oh yeah. I love that time. I come home from the gym every morning and I have 30 minutes where it's just me and my coffee.

Jeremy: Yep.

Zach: That was it. And that. of the best parts of my day, and it is one of the, the things that like gets me through the entire day. And honestly, at the end of the day, I look forward to it the next.

Jeremy: Yeah. C Coffee's my best friend. I just, I love that time. It's just the best. Anyways, that's beside the point. There are so many reasons that physical movement and that physical exercise. Can help your mental health. But I think the other thing you that I wanted to ask you about is that I know that you've been, uh, bringing your daughter along for some of the, these workouts.

So not only can we, uh, impact our own bodies and our own mental health, but those of us that are parents, there are tons of reasons to include your [00:06:00] kids in that part of your life. So I'm, I'm curious if you wouldn't mind sharing some of what you've been doing with your daughter.

Zach: Yeah. She came home from school one day and, and was talking about carb cycling. She, she's 11, mind you, she was talking about carb cycling and targeting belly fat and. Like blew my mind. I was just like, okay, where are you learning this? Let's set the record straight. Like you don't target belly fat. You, you just like consume less calories than you, than you burn.

And those calories need to be like 80 20. Good for you. So, you know, we kind of fixed that. And then she was like, well, I want to work out. I want to exercise. I want to do some of the things that you do. And I was like, hell yeah, let's go. And. You know, which

Jeremy: up at four 30 in the morning?

Zach: She did not. So, so anyway, so we, she went to a CrossFit for the kids class on Sunday and she did really, really good there.

And then on Monday night we went to a yoga class, not just any yoga class. We went to like a [00:07:00] 75 minute, , Vinyasa class that was like a hundred degrees. Like I probably lost 10 pounds, just like sweating.

Jeremy: Geez.

Zach: And she was fine. And then the next morning she was like, I want to go to yoga again. And it was at six 30 in the morning.

So we got, she got up at, geez, like five 15. She got up earlier than you, to get ready. Wonderful statement. She, I was like, why are you getting up so early kid? And she like, looked at, she used her hand and like went around her face and she's like, because this doesn't just wake up. Beautiful.

Jeremy: Oh,

Zach: And I was like,

Wow.

Okay. But anyway, so she went to yoga this morning with me and we did yoga and all the adults, like, uh, I've got a few friends that are in the class and they were all like, wow. Like whenever you see a kid in, in a yoga class, you get nervous cuz they're fidgety and they move and they really break the zen.

And everyone was like, super impressed and commented like, Hey, she [00:08:00] wasn't, she didn't like fidget, she didn't make any noise. Like she just did really good. So she was very proud and happy about that. And then we had some follow up conversations about, uh, when I picked her up from school today, She was like, I don't really, she's like, I thought I'd feel tired now, but I've like felt really good all day long and like I didn't even bring up like the exercise.

I was like, oh, tell me more about that. And she's like, I don't know. Like I just thought I'd be tired, but I just feel good. I feel awake. My mind feels clear, like all of these things. And she was just elaborating on all the things that internally I was like, oh my god, Jeremy and I are gonna talk exactly about this.

Jeremy: Oh, that's so awesome. Uh, so I, I love that she's learning from you. I'm hoping that the audience is learning something from us, but admittedly, you and I are not necessarily the experts. We're the experts of our own experience, the experts of the things that we do. We know a thing or two, but we thought we'd bring in somebody who knows a thing or two more.

For this episode, we've partnered with Jamie Fler.

She's the owner of Jamie [00:09:00] Fler Fitness. She's a top Instagram influencer in the mental health and physical health space. She's got over a hundred thousand followers, which is pretty damn impressive. But I was intrigued to talk with her when I discovered her website. Where's the thing I said?

There, I found something that you don't really hear very often when it comes to physical fitness, personal trainers. She says, call me shallow, but I believe that sometimes confidence can be built from the outside in, and that has just been more and more apparent to me. How much of all of this work that we talk about, all this mental health work, all this spiritual work in many cases, starts with that foundation of what you do with this body and the whole idea that like, you know, your body is a temple or whatever, has meant so much more to me lately because I find that [00:10:00] doing that work with my physical body leads to so much more opening and so much more healthier work on my mental and spiritual. So when I talked to her the other day, I asked her about that idea of building that confidence from the outside in.

Jamie: There are three Cs to being successful. , consistency in something you become competent in, which leads to confidence. The worst thing I hear is I just wanna get motivated, or I just need to be motivated to start, or I'm gonna hire you for motivation. I said, you know what? I'm not gonna take your money.

I'm not gonna waste my time or your money. I'm not looking for motivation. I'm looking for discipline. I'm looking for consistency. I'm looking for willpower. And as soon as you show yourself that you can show up every single day or for three days a week, four days a week, whatever you've promised yourself, and you can be competent at that activity, you start patting yourself on the back a hell of a [00:11:00] lot more that.

Confidence also breeds competence, right? So now we're working inversely in other areas of your life, maybe you start showing up for your significant other in a healthier, more confident way. Maybe you show up as a employer or employee or executive in a more confident way. And then again, we're building consistency in other areas of your life.

Now you're showing up more frequently, um, in those, those other hats that you.

Jeremy: I was watching the movie, I think it's called Stutz, the, the movie with, um, oh, what's his name? Jonah Hill. Yes. And it was, it was really his therapist that said it so clearly. Who's, it's like there, it's like this pyramid that from the, from the f, the foundation of the physical form. Comes the ability to strengthen mentally, which then frees you up to open up spiritually.

And it's just, it's so interesting to think of it that way because so many of us, like we think of going to the gym or working out or getting in shape as just, how am I gonna look bro? Am I gonna be able to bench three 50 or what? Like whatever, like sort of superficial [00:12:00] thing. But the doors that it opens through that consistency, through that discipline, through what can become a very spiritual practice is just incredible.

Jamie: But I will also tell you, Jeremy, and this is one of the reasons that I try to integrate mental and physical health, is I can't tell you how many people tell me they can't start because. Childhood traumas getting in the way Mommy and daddy issues are getting in the way. Right. Their unhappiness, that their job is getting in the way.

And I'm like, that's backwards. I promise you we can work through your childhood trauma if you just go for a walk. I promise you, we can reduce the daddy issues if you just bench frequently. You know what I mean? So, right. They're trying to come in at that middle level of the pyramid, but they, they don't have the foundation.

Jeremy: Uh, and I think so much of it is, and correct me if, if you think otherwise, but so much of that trauma that we hang onto is just energy in our body that just wants to be moved. It's just hanging out inside. It wants to get out of you, so if you don't move it, it sits there and [00:13:00] it rots you from the inside out.

I'm talking to myself as I look in the camera right now. Move your body dummy, like it's just that. It's so true.

Jamie: Yep. Yep. There's, um, I, I heard an interesting podcast from, uh, Dr. Huberman of the Huberman lab. He studies, I believe it's like neuroscience at Stanford, and it was, it was the e it's a caveman brain. He said, we have proven that if you go outside for a walk and you are walking in a forward motion straight line, your eyes scanned laterally faster than you will ever know for.

we've been doing that forever. But guess what? The best part is that if there are no perceived threats, i e, you are walking in a straight line and no one is trying to attack you. It will increase the amount of dopamine you produce. So every minute you are outside walking forward that you are not killed, it's a G your brain.

Register that as a win.

Jeremy: And that's why I, I love things like cold therapy. I live right [00:14:00] next to a creek and to a lake, and whenever possible I go and just try and like, no matter, especially if there's snow, I love it when there's snow, but I love subjecting myself to, to experiences like that for that very reason because I'm usually wrestling with some.

Nonsense in my head that's just rattling around needs a place to go. But when I'm in that experience, just surviving, all of that gets really quiet cuz it's just all of a sudden it's just about where's my next breath gonna come from? And it just clears so much of that away.

Jamie: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And, and again, you know, whether it's in a creek, whether it's in a, a cold plunge, , whether it's under the bar of a squat, if your mind starts to wander. You can, your, your, your mind can't afford to wander when you're under 225 pounds. Right. You cannot lose focus. It, your anxiety isn't an option.

Jeremy: I think a lot of people are hearing this and going, yeah, I know, but I just can't, and this gets back to that motivation thing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Jeremy: talk about this all the time too, it's just that[00:15:00] , you can't wait for it to show up. You have to manufacture it with your bare hands. So how do we help that person who's just like, I just, I want to, I know better.

I should. I gotta, I'm January 1st. That's the day for me, bro. Like,

Jamie: Yeah. Monday.

Jeremy: yeah. How do we get the shoes on the feet and the body out the door?

Jamie: I think, well, so I, it's so interesting that, you know, you mentioned the creek and I mentioned. The 225 pound squat, and I think that's how you get started. You don't have to be a Jeremy, and you don't have to be a Jamie. You have to be a you. And what does fitness look like to you? Does the idea of getting under 225 pounds excite you?

Great. Come lift with me. Does the idea of going for a walk in nature. Get your mojo going, go do that. Have you always wanted to explore Orange Theory Fitness, or do you think maybe Pilates is for you? Go do that. Fitness doesn't look like any one thing. It looks like the thing you're gonna stick with that brings you [00:16:00] joy, but you have to try at least three things to determine what it is that suits your needs and, and makes you happy.

Jeremy: I think a lot of us though, struggle to maybe even know that, like even discover what is it that makes me happy? Where do you, where do you dig that up?

Jamie: Okay. I think it begins with going for a walk with yourself and thinking about it. Right. And if you just, if you hate walk, right. I've clients who hate walking. Right. Okay. They just like lifting. Cool. Great. How about biking, rollerblading, and again, you know, a class pass. Right now we're looking at, okay, what's my budget?

Do we even have a budget if we don't have a budget? Okay, great. Now our options are slightly limited, right? Fitness to an extent isn't free. But if you have a hundred dollars go purchase. If you live in the US a class pass, go try a spin class. Go try F 45. Go try orange Theory. Go try Pure bar. Go try [00:17:00] Pilates, go try uh, restorative yoga, go to a gym.

Jeremy: A lot of that stuff. Uh, uh, just for my own journey this year, it, it's been rocky, I'm gonna be honest, but it's, it really started with going into a gym,

Jamie: mm-hmm.

Jeremy: having no idea what I was doing, and just going, I'm gonna lift that for a while. I'm gonna, I'm gonna move that thing around for a while. And I just, I fucking hated it.

I was just like, I'm never doing this again. I hate going to the gym. I don't enjoy it. It's a huge waste of time. This sucks. I don't wanna look back on my life and go look at all those hours I wasted in the.

Jamie: Right.

Jeremy: then I talked to Tony Horton, we had him on our show, uh, the creator of the P90X

workout. And I asked him, I was like, how do I get over that?

And he goes, dude, your purpose sucks. And I, and I just loved how he said it, just, it drilled it into my head that like, I had to have a better reason than I just wanna be comfortable and do something I want to do. and so ever since then, it's been easier to, if not the gym, than something else.

Jamie: Gotta be something else. Yeah.

Jeremy: and it, it really came down to sort of the, the why and, and figuring [00:18:00] out like, because I don't want to be 75 and hobbled and moving around and not able to keep up with the grandkids that will, you know, possibly show up one day.

Like, I just, I don't, I don't want to suffer, like I'm already suffering for the decisions I made in my twenties. How much worse is it gonna be when in, I'm in my seventies and I'm looking back on, dude, when you were 45, you should have listened to Tony Horton

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I love that, and I think that that's another good one, right? Say for example, your goal has nothing to do with weight loss, but you live alone, and you live in maybe the northern part of the US or Canada, you struggle with seasonal effective disorder. Going to a crunch will probably not solve your problem.

Jeremy: Mm-hmm.

Jamie: Going to a CrossFit gym where there is a sense of community and they do partner workouts on Saturdays, and they do Merf as an entire country. Every Memorial day, that's probably closer to your jam, right? So find what it is. The going back to you and Tony Wharton, right? What is your why for, [00:19:00] for the reason you would like to get yourself in shape?

Is it a mental health? Is it a physical health? Is it for your kids? Is it for your parents? And then there will be a fitness movement that speaks to that. Why?

Jeremy: And I, and I like too that you said, like we started with, we're talking about the, you know, call me shallow or whatever. If your why is that you just wanna be jacked, cool, that's okay. That, that's whatever the reason is that gets you out the door to do it. It's a valid reason. Don't, don't let some like outside belief about that be the thing that gets in your way.

Right.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. , the other thing that I think stops a lot of people is the fear of judgment. , right. That external. And, and I, I love this. I love this so much. as someone who has been the jacked one in the gym, right? When I'm close to a show and I'm sitting at like seven and 9% body fat and I'm tanned, and my teeth are white and my hair is done right, I am the one that intimidates others.

Let me tell you something. Speaking from that perspective, [00:20:00] I don't look at you.

Jeremy: Mm-hmm.

Jamie: have no time. And it's typically the, the people who are the most in shape are the most focused ones, like the ones you think are judging you look that way. because they don't have time to judge you because they are so busy looking at themselves, judging themselves, focusing on what they're lifting, that you are not even a thought into their mind.

So why don't you focus on you like the jacked boys and girls, focus on themselves and if you have a question, they would probably be happy to.

Jeremy: And I would argue a lot of them, if they are giving you any thought, it's like, cool. Good for you. Keep going. Like the, you're at the beginning of where I started. That's a tough place to be. Keep going.

Jamie: Yeah. Yes, I agree. But again, we, we put this narrative in our heads that, right, more successful pe more wealthier people, judge not as wealthy people rather than wanting to mentor them or coach them. Super [00:21:00] jack people, judge not as jack people. And we're like, ah, looking down on you little man. , again, not the case.

Just wanna help. Just wanna help

Jeremy: so I, I want to bottle just a little bit of your energy and, and borrow it for my own workouts. It's incredible. Uh, you, you alluded a little bit to your background. Tell us how you got into all this and a little bit more about how, who you are and, and just so our audience can understand where this is all

Jamie: Sure, sure. So I was the, uh, I was the proverbial 98 pound weakling. I started my first diet when I was 11. It kind of apex when I was 15. Uh, full-blown anorexia, hospitalized three times between 15 and 18. Finally moved out of my parents' house, gave them the big middle finger, got worse before I got better because I was so angry that they had put me in the hospital for a lot of my grade 11 and 12 year.

, but I, I always say that bodybuilding is both what almost killed me and what saved me. It was the gym that I, I put, help me in quotes if you're [00:22:00] listening. , helped me get from 120 to 95. , but it was also the gym that introduced me to inner strength and how powerful lifting weights could make me feel.

How invincible being strong could make me feel that it's also why I became a personal trainer, because I wanna help people feel that confident from the outside in if they don't have that yet. So, uh, long story short, I started my journey to recovery at 21. So it, it did take me 10 years of a struggle fully sober by 24.

And thankfully I'm 35 now. No regression, , I've not slipped back. Um, I've not been triggered, thankfully. Um, so now I am an online mental and physical help coach so that I can help people feel the way that I do now.

Jeremy: That's incredible. You mentioned, uh, the, the, the eating disorders and the di I guess the dieting beginning at 11. I I think sadly [00:23:00] that is incredibly common, probably more so now than when you were 11. Thank you Instagram. Um, so where did that come from for you back then?

Jamie: so my, my father had Lou Gehrig's disease. He was diagnosed, , a little bit before I was born, and by the time I was three he was on a ventilator. And I, I really understood in my. I, in my youth, just how, how bad it was, um, to, to his terminal illness or his terminal diagnosis. And I think a part of me, literally and figuratively wanted to disappear so that he could have all of the attention so that everyone who we, everyone could just pay attention to.

My dad and I, I just thought that was so important to make every single day as important as possible for him because, We never knew. Of course, the irony is that when you're in the hospital, your mom comes to visit you every single day and she can't spend every day with your dad. , but that, that was [00:24:00] essentially how it started, that I just, I didn't want, I didn't want any attention.

I want all of my attention to go to my sick dad.

Jeremy: And so it was literally like, don't even feed me. Is that sort of where that came from

Jamie: No, it was, it was, my mom would send me to school with lunch and I would trade it, or I would, I really just give it away. , I would move as much as possible, you know, I would bounce my leg. , and then dinner, I would try to push off as long as possible and then push my food around my plate a lot, eat half of what was given.

, and then by high school I started skipping class to go to the Jewish Community Center to just run swim, bike. Elliptical lift was also playing basketball all the time from my high school team. , so at that, like once I got older and the ability to burn calories rather than just restrict them was available to me.

I started doing that a lot more.

Jeremy: So, is that what you mean when you talk about the, that the, that fitness really like saved and almost broke you? Is that like you found it as an outlet to deal with all this stuff, [00:25:00] but then it just went Too far. 

Jamie: Too far? 

Jeremy: man. So how, how did you reel that in? How did that, how did you go from that to healthy?

Jamie: Great question. So I had, well for sure had body dysmorphia. When I would see myself in the mirror. I wouldn't, I wouldn't see someone who was overweight. I would see. Ronnie Coleman and Jay Cutler staring back at me because I would see 4% body fat because that's what I was, and like 200 pounds instead of 100.

So I was like, man, I'm gonna get on stage. So I did, I competed eight times, , in the, my grade 11 and first year of university year. I did four shows each year. Didn't understand off season cuz there is no off season, you know, I was so hardcore. And then finally, uh, after my eighth show, I think it was in 2004 or 2005, I actually got a phone call from one of the judges and the judge said, Ms.

Fler, um, [00:26:00] The judges and I spoke and, and I hope you don't take offense, but we're a little, we're concerned about you. Um, you look like you belong in the hospital, not on stage.

And at first I was like, wow, that's rude. Then I was like, wait, I just, fuck, I just like spent two months in the hospital. Really? I have to, I have to go back.

I just have to be a little bit bigger. Okay. Alright. So if you are telling me that in order to be successful I just have to be a little bit bigger, I can get bigger, no problem.

Jeremy: Mm.

Jamie: And that, obviously it took me three years to like fully comprehend that, but I started my journey to health. After that conversation, I, I just wanted to be a body builder.

I just wanted to actually see what I was seeing in the mirror.

Jeremy: That's wild. Is that common? I mean, are do, do judges, are there people in the industry that sort of see that and go, Hey, this, you've gone too far?

Jamie: I would, I certainly hope so, Jeremy. I don't, I don't think so. , [00:27:00] having, and having now sat on the judging panel, , of a couple different natural body building shows, the judges and I kind of just whisper to each other. But I, I mean, I definitely didn't approach an athlete even though I, I wish that maybe if I did, I could make the same difference to their life.

I think it's just so taboo. Now, like there are, there are women that Katie and I see at the gym and I'll see the, I'll see, not only will I see the stick figure, but I'll see the, um, the body hair that starts to grow as a function specifically of an eating disorder and be like, I recognize that. I know what that is.

Right? And, but I don't. But I don't.

Jeremy: Mm. That's hard.

Jamie: Yeah. 

Jeremy: It's 

Jamie: Cuz you don't, you never know what people are going through and what are they gonna, I guess the worst case scenario is they gimme the middle finger. 

Right? I. 

Yeah,

Jeremy: That's

Jamie: that happens every day on Instagram. I'm fine.

Jeremy: worth considering, worth considering. Uh, so [00:28:00] in terms of the dysmorphia, I mean, I'm, I'm someone who, I lost 70 pounds and I still look in the mirror and I still see the 70 pounds ago guy. So have you overcome that? Do you still wrestle with the person you see in the mirror? How does that affect you?

Jamie: I, I choose not to wrestle with her anymore because there's no point. I, I, I spent so many days and years mistrusting or distrusting her that now. Ironically, I only go by the scale, and I know even myself when I coach clients, I'm like, pay no attention to the scale. It's bullshit. Like nothing but a reflection of gravity on your center of mass.

Who even knows what that means, even? Um, but it's the only measure I trust. Because it tells me up or down, it tells me you, you're doing what needs to happen right in your off season or it's coming down and we're getting closer and leaner to a show. And in the meantime I send my coach my photos and she says, you know, yay or nay, good or bad or [00:29:00] neutral.

Um, but no, I don't have a relationship with the mirror anymore.

Jeremy: Interesting. How did you make that?

Jamie: , I think I realized, right? I think, I think I just realized that it, I, I don't think I'm ever gonna see what's there. , and now it's neutral, right? Like now it's, we use, I use different metrics. Does my hair look good? Uh, do my clothes match? Is what I'm wearing two baggy or too tight instead of. I look fat, like no one sees me naked, but my wife and like, we're still married, so I'm guessing she doesn't hate it.

Uh, so why, why do I need to have an opinion about my body right? Again? And also all she cares about is whether my clothes match and whether my hair looks good when I leave the house. Nobody gives a crap what's underneath my clothes. So why should I?

Jeremy: You look like an idiot in that outfit. What are you doing? Come 

Jamie: Then I will change, but there's no like fat or skinny in our house. It's just like, change your clothes. Just change your, do your [00:30:00] hair. Change your clothes. Do your hair.

Jeremy: Uh, awesome. So, uh, so then you tell your, your clients stop looking at the scale. It's, it's not a good measure. So what do you tell them? How do they keep things in check

Jamie: I will tell you, and, and hopefully some of your listeners can appreciate this. I say progress runs like an elevator. The actual cable car of an elevator weighs many tons, and as a result, it does not have only one cable pulling it up and down, right? It has, I don't know, based on my mission impossible knowledge, like at least six.

Right? So progress is the same thing. . We can't only give the scale. The scale can't be the only cable. We have to use the scale. We have to use how your clothes fit from week to week. We have to use progress photos. We have to use how you feel in your own skin. We have to use measurements you're taking around your body.

We have to use whether you're getting compliments from the people around you. And I'll say, okay, give me best four to six. Right? Tell me what other measures of progress are saying about how things are [00:31:00] going.

Jeremy: That's powerful. If somebody's trying to get off the bench, they want to do something different. We talked a little bit about just, you know, find that thing that you're interested in, but what are some sort of simple, like just mindset hacks. Like what, what can I do to just, uh, get on the right track today?

 But what's, uh, what are some places.

Jamie: I'm going to, I'm gonna say clean up your diet, whatever that means to you starting cor because there's, there is a stomach. There's a brain that lives in your stomach and it is connected to the brain that lives in your head. And again, this is one of the reasons that mental health and physical health are so closely integrated.

When you put crappy. Food in your body that is brain fuel, right? So the thoughts you're thinking when you are fueling your brain with sugary cereals and McDonald's and poptarts and cinnamon buns, 

Jeremy: All delicious. All delicious. By the way,

Jamie: So great, but you do not perform the same way. You don't feel the same [00:32:00] way, and you don't think the same way than you do when you're incorporating whole grains.

Fruits and vegetables, protein, lean proteins. Fibrous carbs. So if you don't wanna go to a gym, don't go to a gym, nobody's forcing you to. But can you have more fruit today? Can you include a vegetable with two out of three meals today?

Jeremy: It really is the small, simple steps every day, right? That

Jamie: Drink more water. Drink more water today.

Jeremy: Yeah. Awesome. Where do we learn more about you and, uh, your , online courses or, or, or whatever it is you have to offer? Where can we

Jamie: Yeah, so I would say Instagram. Instagram is the best way to get in touch with me because you can stalk me, you can, you control me. Um, you can determine whether my. Philosophies about training and life and nutrition are a good fit for you because I try to do as much as possible to educate, entertain, and inspire on there.

So, uh, Instagram is at j a i m nine one J 91. I'm sure Jeremy will put it in the show notes. Um, and [00:33:00] then my website is jamie fler.com.

Jeremy: Perfect. And any final thoughts you wanna leave us with?

Jamie: Start with something, right? I've, I read somewhere that it takes 20 hours to really master something to get really good at learning a new language. Uh, sales calls playing. The guitar problem is people wait 10 years for that first hour. Don't wait 10 years.

Zach: Our thanks to Jamie Fler. You can find links to her and her work in the show notes for this episode@thefitmess.com. I have to say , The number one thing that I took out of that is the fact that physical movement in whatever form you happen to do at an end , has a massive impact on your mental health. I can speak from experience. I've gotten through many, many a dark days just by moving my body. Nothing else, just move my body, then go lay down, cry a little more, and I get through the.

Jeremy: And yeah, we say this all the time and it was brought up again today. Like [00:34:00] if you're not doing anything, then starting with a walk, starting with just something simple, starting with just putting on the shoes, whatever it takes to just start that process. It is incredible. How quickly it opens all of the doors to all of the other work that you can do.

When you just make time in your schedule to just move your body. It just is so powerful. , the other point that she brought up that I think is, you know, we can't say it enough, I can't tell you how many times I look at the scale and let that decide my results, decide, decide my, uh, my effort level, how much work I've put in.

That number is next to meaningless. It is one tool of many tools to use to measure how effectively you are taking care of your body, doing the things you need to do. It is one tool to use. It is not the tool.

So don't get caught up on the number on the scale.

Zach: Yeah, just to reemphasize that, like when you do first start working out or eating. A, you're gonna lose a lot of water weight, [00:35:00] like right off the bat. So you're gonna see, you're gonna see the scale move a lot. But then after that, you're gonna be building muscle. So the scale's gonna slow down as you burn fat and build muscle like it, and sometimes even go up when you build more muscle, uh, then fat you've lost.

So yeah, the, the number on the scale is very misleading, but one of the ways that you can see the number on the scale go down is to clean up your diet. It's. 80% of the physical changes that a lot of us have goals for comes down to physical diet. And I can tell you a story about me personally that just blew my mind yesterday.

A lot's happened in the last two

Jeremy: It's been a big day for you.

Zach: Um, due to, you know, cholesterol issues, I have stopped eating red meat. Not of my own choice. I just don't wanna take statins, and I've been able to control my cholesterol. , so I love red meat. I love hamburgers. I just , give me a steak. I haven't had red meat 

Jeremy: [00:36:00] Is that a little drool? Is that a little Dr. Coming down your mouth just talking about it?

Zach: I think it is, it definitely is. I haven't had red meat in three months. , one of my buddies made meatloaf and gave me, and I brought it home and I had it for lunch yesterday. I was like, I'm just, I've been good for three months. I'm gonna eat some meatloaf. I ate meatloaf by six o'clock that night.

My whole body was inflamed to the point where my joints hurt, felt like I had arthritis like all over my body. Today. My gut is not right. My whole stomach hurts. Like just my whole body just went crazy because I ate something that's not chemically good for. . Right? And I'm not saying that you should stop eating red meat because this is me, red meat and me clearly don't get along.

It was delicious, but it wasn't worth all of this

Jeremy: I, I feel the same way about the blizzard that my family brought home last night.

Zach: I was like, what? Did you have wild weather [00:37:00] there? Oh, oh. That

Jeremy: just delicious, delicious ice cream that has no nutritional value whatsoever.

Zach: Was it Oreo or Eminem?

Jeremy: believe it was the, uh, I believe it was the Reese's Mud.

Zach: Oh,

Jeremy: AW

Zach: I'd do any, I'd do anything for peanut butter,

Jeremy: It was delicious.

Zach: but to wrap up, like, you know, cleaning up your diet. Again, whatever that means for you. And it's gonna be different for us all. Keto, vegan, vegetarian, like whatever. Like pick something that works for you that's good for your body and remember the 80 20 rule, like you don't have, you don't have to be perfect all the time.

You can still eat the things that you like just in a little bit less volume, lesser volume.

Jeremy: I really love the way that Michael Poland sums it up in his book. Uh oh man, I'm forgetting the title, but I remember the quote. Eat food, mostly. Plants, not too much. Like that's he, he boils all of the world's diets down to that simple advice. [00:38:00] Eat real food, mostly plants, not too much.

Zach: Love it.

Jeremy: That sounds like a great topic for a newsletter. Maybe we will sum that up on the next edition of our newsletter, which we hope you will sign up for. You can do that through our website. That is the fit mess.com. We are now in addition to just giving you updates about when the show is available, we're trying to add additional context and tips from each episode so you can look for two uh, emails from us each week.

One with the show update and one with some more context about the topics that we discuss. You can sign up for that newsletter@thefitmess.com. That's where we'll be back in just a few days with a brand new episode. 

Thanks for listening.

Zach: See everyone.

 [00:39:00] 

JAIME FILER Profile Photo

JAIME FILER

Introverted Extrovert CEO

Jaime Filer is the owner of Jaime Filer Fitness, a Top Instagram influencer in the mental and physical health space, with over 104K followers. She is transplant from Toronto, Ontario, and started her online coaching business in order to help women overcome overwhelm and reduce anxiety through fitness. She has her BA in Kinesiology, but is also a published fitness model, motivational speaker, and dog mom x 3.